Darkness on the Edge of Town.

There's a wine and a song for everything Antoinette.

I've got the vacation blues! You know that feeling you get after returning from 9 days frolicking at the beach, where summer once again turns whites into reds... think...think... ok you got it!😉 Where you drink as much wine as you want, improve your golf game, improve your lies about your golf game, read all the books you want without any brain matter required, and most importantly follow the advice of Thomas Gray, "where ignorance is bliss, tis folly to be wise." I know how not to mess up a good thing, so I followed the advice of noted philosopher and candy maker M&M who said "Lose yourself" and made myself blissfully ignorant of the world, only to snap back to reality and find gravity missing(lyrical wit, 😉). People are no longer grounded. They are floating adrift from common sense. When I think of all the issues in the world that could stand a little focus and attention and find that "we" (or what I used to call the lunatic fringe, I know you're out there) are worried about marble statues, and worse... the team mascot of the USC Trojans, because it's a "white" horse named Traveler...which means it's one L from being the same as Robert E. Lee's horse. The second "L" must be for life, as in get one! If we removed every statue in the world, would one person's life be better? God forbid, what if they started removing Hollywood stars? It would be like hundreds of 3 year olds lost their balloon at the same moment. We can't have that. There's not enough Dimetapp to put those children to sleep and stop the crying, but drinking wine will! I could explain all this nonsense of extremism by breaking out Hegel and arguing dialectic theory but there's a better way. For all of you out there who feel oppressed, and suppressed, and repressed, and compressed, and depressed it's time to take advantage of the Wine press. Wine keeps us evenly centered and keeps the mental illness masquerading behind the veneer of political engagement confined to the basement and the MSM press. Remember, no wine... no peace. Know wine, know peace! Time to worry over the right bottle of red to match my current complexion and remember that statues are there not to worship, but to inspire us to do better. Time for more focus on good wine and historical lessons, and no time for the hysterically inane. Let's fix real problems before it's too late and we're eclipsed! Don't be led astray by the non wine drinking fringe groups. Remember, this is a solar eclipse, meaning Sunny, not a lunar eclipse, meaning Looney! But watch out, there may be a lunatic in the hall...And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

Political Science Fiction

Time to hang ten Antoinette,

Science is one of those straight forward words that allows us to dwell on just the facts ma'am. It's all based on empirical evidence that we can verify via the scientific method.... or is it. Lest we forget... Science also leads us to science fiction which takes us down the rabbit hole of mom's basement and comic con. And even more comical... there's political science. Where we can change biology and add a whole alphabet of chromosomes to go with the old fashioned and scientific X and Y. Hmm, well we aren't animals right? I mean we are, but we aren't. We should have as many fictional identities as we want right? After all, what separates us from the animals is our humanity (that's good), opposable thumbs(that's useful), and apparently a multiple choice of genders(that's confusing). All animals have is... animosity? (That's bad), no reason or compassion (That's barbarian), and a rigid food chain and only two sexes (That's limiting). The biggest difference of course is we can communicate clearly and we can make wine. For example let's take something black and white to illustrate...pro and anti... we know words beginning with anti are bad... anti-ques, anti-pasto, anti-disestablishmentarian, anti-climax (wait, I thought that was the point? ). Hmm, let's try pro...pro-fanity, pro-blem, pro-crastination, pro-miscuous. Wait this isn't going how I anticipated.  Better switch to something that is clear and communicable in a good way, 😉...wine! We got you animals there! Wine gives us humans class, style, taste, refinement and the ability to communicate reasonably. And what's even better, wine goes well with animals, haha... that might not be humane, but it is delicious! However, sometimes humans choose to drink inflammatory drinks like Fireballs or worse, Appletinis. Those are the drinks of extremism... the KKK, BLM, Commies, Fascists, Antifa and PC types. Stop the madness, uncork something with reason, and the scientifically proven ability to calm anger and enlighten our communication. Time to put aside the apocalyptic missile tests, diplomatic nightmares, extremism on all sides and focus on what’s really important this Monday...my vacation and how many Bloody Mary's and how much wine I can drink at Big Pecker's before going back to work. You don't see me threatening anyone with my missiles... just my missives! Time to take another sip, slap on some spf, wax the board and Let's go surfin' now, Everybody's learning how, Come on and safari with me...🏄‍♂️🍷🏌️‍♂️🏖😎!

Non Compos Mentis

The news will make you insane... better drink up Antoinette.

Ok, America there is news you can use, news you can abuse, news that will leave you confused and news that makes you wish you were talking about gnu[s] (I know... homonym jokes are low forms of humor...but try telling that to Uranus) The good news is all news goes with wine. Time to uncork a bottle of good news... I have a feeling you're gonna need it. Let's start with news we can use for $200 Alex. After 25 years of studying and millions of dollars in federal research grants, Dr Slobidchikoff has determined that prairie dogs have a sophisticated communication system not unlike human teenagers. Their grunts and barks to each other actually describe intruders, and go so far as to bully those that don't measure up. First (and last) reported by Steve Messenger from treehugger.com, the good doctor noted that P. Dogs described intruders to each other... for instance "here comes a coyote", or "look at the fat guy with a 'save the whales' pink t-shirt. Doesn't he know pink clashes with his orange camo shorts?" (I know... don't shoot the messenger 😉, but I have to wonder if there isn't something more important the Dr could be researching like why do birds sing?) Same category $400 please... according to Travel and Leisure, and Food and Wine magazines, the Queen of England has 4 drinks a day. She alternates between gin, wine and champagne. Forget about the 7 Steps of Highly Effective People... just drink martinis and wine and be like the queen. She might not rule an empire anymore, but she has a commonwealth, a few billion in cash, gets more print than Russian collusion and fake news stories combined, has a cool accent, and she's 91! Tis good to be queen. News you can abuse for $800 please Alex. According to researchers at the University of Exeter, students remember information learned right before heavy drinking better than students who studied and didn't drink at all. The theory is that the alcohol blocks new memories so it consolidates older info into longterm memory in the hippocampus. So I know hippo comes from Latin for horse, and campus is like a college... so hippocampus must be like a riding school? Better go chug some Wine, I don't want to forget this. Confused for a $1000. On this day in 1944 non wine drinking fascist, Adolph Hitler, stopped production on HIS Volkswagen Beetle to focus on tanks. I'm confused... aren't the people most likely to be driving a VW the one's going around calling everyone a fascist and comparing the people they don't like to Hitler while hiding in the safety of their basement and firing blanks behind their internet firewall? Shouldn't they be taking the bus anyway? 🤔. African antelope for $600. At Princeton University, students can now choose ONE or MORE from SIX genders including OTHER. Is passing biology no longer a requirement to getting into an Ivy League school? I knew those kids studied too hard in high school. Parents, make your kids play beer pong and flip cup after study hall so they can remember science before political jumped in front. I think it's time for my daily double Alex, 
A bottle of red, a bottle of white
Whatever kind of mood you're in tonight...
I feel like eating in our Italian restaurant. 

Classical Misgivings

When wine isn't the answer it's time to rephrase the question Antoinette. 

A classic example of a difficult language to learn is English, though it's not a "classical" language. And therein lies the problem. Many words have multiple definitions and uses and unless you're a wordsmith like B.Shakespeare, G. Bush, J. Biden or S. Dogg you might have some difficulties. A classic example of this is the word classic which can mean alternatively definitive, superior, timeless, typical, vintage etc... you can have class when you don't have class, or are not of a particular class, as long as you have classic style and manners. Like, "Stay classy San Diego!". Ok, time for class to begin. If you want to be a class act you should study the classics, learn classical languages, listen to classical music, and dress in classic style. Or you can be vintage classic and listen to classic rock, dress in classic Levi's and t-shirts, and rail against the class system while drinking $15 drinks at a classic venue that looks nothing like classical Greek architecture. You can listen to a classic rap song/rhyme but classical rap hasn't yet stood the test of time, so we'll see if it will ever be classical music. In order to help you decide if something will be classic, you can use my test...when it comes to the arts, if I can do it it's probably not any good and certainly not classic, except classically bad. I can make up words that rhyme but if that's what it takes to be a great musician then Dr Seuss would be the greatest rapper of all time. I can also play with a synthesizer and sample other's stuff so maybe I can be the greatest synth-pop band since Depeche Mode, nah! Since I can't sing and the only music instrument I can play is the radio, I'll stick to things I know how to do...I know how to drink a classic wine and I know how to drink it good. (I don't always know how to use grammar good... sometimes I make the classic mistake and missunderestimate the importance of not dangling my modifiers which would be a classic Freudian example of classic narcissism and redundancy. Never dangle your modifiers publicly). I will admit though, that my musical talents increase exponentially after a bottle of some uncorked classic deliciousness...I become a virtuoso of the air guitar... an air rock God with the sound of silence...perfect. (Psychologists call the above classical digression). We can all appreciate the classics, no matter our class level, as long as we have class. Just stick to the classic bottles of wine. A Napa Cab, an Anderson Valley Pinot, a sophisticated Bordeaux. You don't need to be a classically trained sommelier... some things you can appreciate without going to class. Time to skip class and go stick your nose into a glass of a classic wine, breathe in the aromas, then drink until your hearts content while listening to something classic. Don't worry about the rat race or getting left behind. It will be there when you return...

I understand about indecision
But I don't care if I get behind
People livin' in competition
All I want is to have my peace of mind. Classic!