A Dust Bowl Sized Thirst

Vacances d'été heureux Antoinette, 

Sadly summer is drawing to a close. But fortunately, there is still one more 3 day weekend before you have to put away the bathing suit, white clothes and seersucker while celebrating the working man with one last weekend blowout. Whether it's a last jaunt to the beach, town parade or backyard bbq don't tempt the wrath of grapes...stock up on plenty of your favorite varietal and celebrate the work ethic of people like Tom Joad, summer, labor day sales and most importantly...the return of college football! It's been a long hot summer, and there is plenty of injustice in the world but at least we don't have a dust bowl (what if they had climate alarmist in the '30s, that would have been depressing), 25% unemployment and most importantly prohibition. So no need for the Okies to head off to California "sooner" than later to teach them how to farm and to stamp out that "bad vintage" where the grapes of wrath were stored...now if you get a corked bottle you can just exchange it for free...you don't have to be high falutin', any general laborer will get the same quality service. Like the Joad family, the best wine comes from the grape that is resilient and perseveres better than others. Time to uncork that special bottle and celebrate resilience, hard work, free day care (if they are in public schools that is) and Louis Rèard...summer wouldn't be summer without him! Merci and Boomer Sooner.

A.M. to P.M.

Back to School

Rise and Shine Antoinette,

Well kiddies...it's that time of year.  Back to School! Of course we all know of the typical back to school sales on notebooks, backpacks, clothes, old tests and a Power Rangers lunch box...but don't forget about the parents. Whether you're sending your little one off for the first time and need to drown your and their sorrows, or shedding tears over college tuition and an empty nest....wine is the answer. The weather will be cooling with the school year and that's a good time to transition to heavier reds while explaining how it was back in your day, and why you can't figure out this new math, or worse, dealing with little Johnny's behaviour problems in class. Just tell the teacher you had him all summer and never called her, now it's her turn. Then pour yourself a nice Zinfandel, hunker down in the lazyboy, and count your blessings that you don't have to make dioramas, write book reports based on cliff notes because there was no movie version, or take pop quizzes when you don't get the seat next to the smart kid! No... you're an adult now...and can legally drink wine and make up lies about how earnest a student you were, or how you would help them with their homework (as if) but think it's a more valuable learning experience if they do it themselves. Besides, they can Google as well as you! Btw what is the definition of is? Who cares... instead daydream of your glory days on the field, high school dances or band camp, restock your wine rack after sending your college kid back (the one who is trying to cram 4 years of college into 6) and pour yourself another glass of wine, maybe with a big slice of American Pie!

Be true to your school.

Sent from my T-Mobile 4G LTE Device

Snake Oil Salesman

Hay Miercoles Antoinette!

America, stop the Whine! Enough of identity politics and silly acronyms.  This is America...we aren't a salad bowl always keeping to our carrot or cucumber identity, that's rabbit food.  We are a mixing bowl where ingredients stick together like cake and donuts...you know...good stuff. And nothing goes better with chocolate cake or a glazed donut than a glass of wine. So forget about your whining community and join WLM* It's the only acronym that's all inclusive (except the under 21's, and wine deafens you to their whine...remembers kids, do as I say not as I do). So whether you're BLM, or MADD, or DAMM**, or the NFL, MLB, NCAA, IOC or LGBTXPalidocious...check your victimhood at the door, step up to the bar/counter and order yourself the Elixir of Unity, the Big Tent Safe Space for all, the Genie in the Bottle that will make all your wishes come true as far as you know...Wine! Support the Red, White and Blue with a Red, White or Sparkling and overcome your insecurities, need for safe spaces, the Zika virus, STD'S, Back to School sales, synchronized swimming and the dog days of summer. Wine...making friends out of enemies for millennia, and the only FDA licensed product guaranteed to make a 10 out of any person in just one bottle. Make the whole world beautiful...drink wine til they're cute. 

*Winos Lives Matter

**Drunks Against Mad Mothers

Wine is the official P.E.D of the 2016 Rio Olympics(just ask the Japanese Pole Vaulter)

AMF