There's No Debating...Wine Wins!

Good morning Antoinette, 

While the candidates hurl insults at each other and Americans are left debating how we got here. There's no doubt what the answer to the question, "are you better off now...?" is, but "read my lips"...wine is the answer! A quick look back at this week in history shows us wine is the perfect drink to cheer our victories and drown our sorrows. So hop in your Model T ford (1908) and head off with your best girl/guy to Yosemite National Park(1890) for a picnic and bottle of shiraz. (Throw in a blanket, the seats don't recline, 😉). If you took the long way to get there and it's post 1919 then you'll have to throw some of grandma's homemade blackberry wine into the boot of the car to be safe from the G-men and if you're near Chicago, Al Capone. Or you could always soup up the engine to outrun them, swing by NY to see Babe Ruth's 60th homer(1927), then head to the beach at Daytona, win some money racing and take your winnings to the first Brew Thru and celebrate the end of prohibition and that deplorable activity we call Nascar with champagne. Of course prohibition and bootlegging also gave the Kennedys their fortune, America JFK, and the first ever presidential debate (1960) where tricky Dick Nixon found out the hard way it's much better to look good and have a beautiful wife than a dog named Checkers.(mixed portent) But the important thing to remember is whoever your candidate is, or isn't, the debates provide 90 minutes for the ultimate wine drinking game. So select your favorite Case of wine, draw straws, everyone but the shortest straw takes a drink if either candidate lies or insults the other...the shortest straw drinks when they don't! You're the designated driver! Sorry

TTFN

Oktoberfest gluten free

Guten Morgen Antoinette, 

Oompah! That's right Franz und Heidi, the hills are alive with the sound of music! It's Oktoberfest! Time to break out the lederhosen, put some edelweiss in your hair, dust off the Stein, gas up the Volkswagen and head off to Munchën to enjoy a little gemütlichkeit (that's southern German hospitality to you Northerners). You gotta love a people that celebrate a month two weeks in advance! However, if you're like me, and driving an audi without an outboard mercury, you may have to celebrate from this side of the pond. Not to worry, Oktoberfest is where you find it, and what you make of it...so why not make it gluten free! Fun fact eins: a Stein can hold an entire bottle of Gewürztraminer(with enough left over for the word)...save your gluten quota for the big pretzel and be a glutton on wine...it's a festival...nobody's watching. Fun fact zwei: be sure to walk a lot at the festival because too much gluten goes straight to your gluteus and you want that to be a minimus not a maximus because you'll look like a glutton. Fun fact drei: It was glutens that drove King Ludwig II mad and broke up Brangelina! Down with glutens and up with wine! Save your relationship and keep your sanity....drink wine! Now it's time to party like Jennifer Aniston, so strike up the band, dance to your favorite polka, feast on bratwurst and schnitzel, raise your Riesling filled Stein and say a hearty Prost to King Ludwig for getting this party started. 

Auf wiedersehen

Basket of deplorables? Pot calling the kettle black?

Rise and shine it's time for wine Antoinette! (5:00 somewhere) 

Choosing a wine like choosing a president can be a difficult decision especially when (hypothetically speaking, 😉) the only Deplorables are the candidates. We certainly have to choose the right varietal for the occasion, we might want to consider it's background, age, the health of the vintage, whether or not it's a yuuuuge wine, is it glossy packaging with no weight, or a wine trading on a name, but no character. Finally, we have to decide on cost/benefit. Some people have a beer budget and champagne tastes, some have a champagne budget and beer tastes, and some people just prefer box wine. It doesn't matter....it's whatever floats your boat, or in this case your kidneys. Thank goodness we are all different...what if everyone was Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller's Day Off..."anyone, anyone?" boring!

Varietals are the spice of life. Whether you drink your wine in a crystal goblet, or a dixie cup...the choice is yours. It's not important whether it came from the box or the top shelf...don't get caught up in the extended pinkie crowd judging people on their tastes...like Mlk said,  you don't want to be judged by the color of the skin of the grape you drink, but rather the content and character of the grapes...each man...cabernet or chard drinker...is capable of choosing the right wine for their budget until such a time when all God's children will be able to join hands and sing "free at last, free at last, thank God almighty this wine is free at last!" At which time you will be able to put that "free" vintage Bordeaux next to that "free" degree from Harvard. Word to the next president, you're the president of all Americans... Thunderbird drinkers as well as Dom Perignon...the votes count the same unless you live in Chicago, then it's set on auto repeat. Drink up America, choose a wine that tastes good and doesn't send you to the poor house....we are all smart enough to do that and our only phobia is "outtawineaphobia"!

P.S. wine cures pneumonia and excessive hyperbole, it's the new wonder drug and way cheaper than an EpiPen....usually!

Chin chin and Oogy Wawa.

Life's a Beach

Aloha Antoinette, 

As you know drinking wine at the beach can be a gritty affair. That's fine if you're a seagull and have a gizzard to grind away the rough stuff, but for us birds of a different feather that's not going to work. There is also the problem of temperature control. I'm sure we all remember Dr Kimura's 10th grade chemistry class when he told us alcohol warms faster than h2o, but in case you forgot...it does. Then of course on many American beaches you have to deal with the boys in blue and Draconian drinking laws. Well actually they aren't really boys in blue, they are the not hot part of the cast of Baywatch. None of us need David Hasselhoff telling us to pour out our just opened bottle of sauvignon blanc.(When did lifeguards stop drinking? Is there another way to get dates? Hmm, points to ponder.) Problem solved...first we are going to grab a bottle or 2 of Garnacha or Tempranillo for red,  Vinho Verde or Torrontes for white and mix up our favorite sangria recipe. A delicious way to take wine from the cellar to sunshine! Then we will tote our booty in an insulated thermos because we took notes in Dr Kimura's class (proof kids: don't be a fool, stay in school!) And when the beach patrol asks you what you're drinking...go with "fruit juice cuz you don't want scurvy" or "I don't remember". Both will keep you out of the pokey,  and one might get you an oval office. As for blowing sand...forget about it...you're on vacation...ain't life a beach! ;) Time for some changes in latitude,  changes in attitude!

It's 5:00 somewhere!

I gotta catch this wave first 

The Ghost of Tom Joad

Tom Morello is a boss. Not THE Boss, but pretty damn good.
https://youtu.be/2N84NR4fmRU