Have you ever wondered why companies brag about making plants taste like meat when cows have been doing that forever, Antoinette?
I'm officially back from vacay and have had time to ponder a few anomalies in today's world. Some are rather confusing which is the reason God invented the greatest defogger, vaccinator and cure all ever... booze. Otherwise known as the Chuck Norris of lucidity and Chinese Flu vaccinations. Cheers!🍹🍺🍸🍷🍾🍻🥂
Ok, let's dive right in...
What's up with great headlines like, "Joe Biden taps Kamala Harris..."📰😜 to be his VP candidate? See you thought I was talking about sloppy seconds to Great Great Uncle Little Willy Brown. At least the age gap is 10 years closer with Joe "I'm in another Dementia" Biden👨🚀. But hey, I'm all in favor of advantageous sleeping positions. 🛏
What's up with the Washington Redskins continuing their policy of not allowing fans in the stands for about the 20th year in a row? Oh this time it's because of the Chinaman Kung Flu? Excuse me what, I'm not supposed to say Redskins? What's up with that... how am I supposed to make potato salad now? Nor Chinaman either? "The Chinaman is not the issue here dude... also dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature." Not to worry dudes, I'm not talking about the guys who built the f'ing railroads, I'm talking about the ChiComs🇨🇳. The bat-eaters🦇 who have peed on our economy, our sports seasons and have insulted our towns, our sons and our authority and that's nothing but pure and simple old fashioned communism.
What's up with Black Lives Inc #BLM extorting millions for a few while destroying black neighborhoods, businesses, social services, etc? I mean I understand systemic racism is bad and all but then how else would Obama have gotten into college, Jemele Hill ever gotten a job, and ColKap get so many 0's in his bank account? Hmm, guess I'm too privileged to get it. 🤷♂️
What's up with the Democratic convention being hosted by Hollyweirders like it was the academy awards? What's the category... comedy/ horror/ foreign films with subtitles for Joe? Unfortunately, viewership was the same as the show. At least they nominated somebody fresh after all the failed policies of the last half century. Somebody who will finally fix it if elected. Wait, what? Uncle Joe (to be confused with Stalin) has been a main architect of that policy for the last 47 years? Hmm well too quote Walter Sobchak..."I did not know that." Well at least he can turn to Nancy "Pickled" Pelosi for fresh ideas. 😅🤣😂 Remember Tyrion there's always the exception to the rule about wine and knowledge. 🥂 BTW, what could possibly be the reasoning why Pelosi, #ImWithHered and the DNC are recommending for Biden not to debate, not to leave the basement and if he loses never concede the election? I guess they think they've got a lock on the outcome against the orange haired former game show host. Otherwise they may go Postal!📮 Then we definitely will know What Happened!🤣
What's up with you can sit down in a bar/restaurant without a mask, torch mainstreet USA 🇺🇸, shoot cops and innocent property owners without social distancing and not spread or contract the Wuhan Wham Bam, but if you stand up in said bar/restaurant without mask, or social distance in a church or gathering not condoned by the "other guy" 🙈🙉🙊😉 you're spreading it faster than a California wildfire. I guess the message is don't be a political science denier.
What's up with the three straight months of peaceful protests in Portland and other cities with extensive basement housing? It's amazing how well lit these night time kumbaya events are from the burning building and automobile bonfires, not to mention all the free swag they're giving away from the local department stores, grocery stores, banks, jewelry stores etc... all you have to do is walk right in and take what you want. Unfortunately, with Chinese Flu protocols there is no delivery option. But what an amazing open door policy. Also, feel free to come with any opinion, and say anything you want because this isn't a fascist country and the anti-fascists, better know as the #antifa benign brotherhood is there to ensure your safety and freedom of expression. Who needs police 🚔? By the way, word on the street is don't bring a skate board to a gun fight. Just saying.
And finally, What's up with vacation showing as 10 days on the calendar but seemingly lasting 10 minutes? Had a couple drinks🍻, made a few pars🏌️♂️, shredded a couple waves🏄♂️ and the next thing I know it's Monday morning and back at it. Something needs to be done about that and actually that's the vaccine the world needs to be working on. 👨⚕️
Remember America, no matter what travails you are feeling presently the great thing about this country for everyone is that the circumstances of your birth don't have to dictate the rest of your life. Rise above. Anyhow, if you're confused, afraid, PO'd, or just thirsty bring something to drink🍺 and you can come join my boy Paul Simon, Me and Julio down by the Schoolyard... but not Rosie😉
I don't know where I'm going
I'm on my way
I'm taking my time
But I don't know where
Goodbye to Rosie, the queen of Corona
Down by the schoolyard
Seein' me and Julio
Down by the schoolyard
