Time to Say Goodbye Winter!

Is that Phil's shadow, or is he just happy to see you Antoinette?

Ok campers, rise and shine and don't forget your booties because it's cold out there today. Well for many Americans, the big question on everybody's lips this week is not "what insightful piece of wisdom that only I know" should I post on Facebook or tweet, but rather will Punxsutawney Phil tell us we have six more weeks of winter, or is spring on the horizon. Well since we seem to live in a world of smart phones and stupid people, we are left to rely on an oversized rodent to guide us into the future. Hmm, if only the government and National Weather Service would consult P. Phil Diddy (that's his stage name) we'd figure out how to make America Great, get a handle on this year's global warming, and hopefully not get stuck inside having to suffer through 6 more weeks of Facebook intellectuals and 140 character twitter geniuses solving our problems. My suggestion is we uncork a bottle of whatever grape your heaven is, while cozying up to the fire, kanoodling, and rumpling the bedsheets, but hey, that's just me! Of course, one also has to be wary lest they wind up like Bill Murray and get stuck in auto repeat living the same day over and over which means you better be doing something you like. Imagine if you were the Patriots and you got stuck playing the Giants over and over for the Super Bowl instead of the Falcons...nightmare! If you're going to repeat a day, pick a day where you're drinking wine. And since you don't know what day that will be...yup, you guessed it...drink wine everyday and be sure to be doing something you like and brings you joy instead of angst, makes you stronger instead of weaker, and smarter instead of dumber. Perfect a skill like mastering the 12-6 curveball, fool proof pick up lines like "Are you Nobody, cuz Nobody's perfect" 😆, or learn a language of love like Italian while drinking expensive Barolos...don't worry, the bill will never come due! Prepare yourself for both America! Six more weeks of winter, or waking up forever to Sonny and Cher singing "...just put your little hand in mine, there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb..."! In which case, always go to sleep with a bottle of the good stuff on the bedside table and don't worry,  "I got you babe!"

The Year of the Rooster!

Time for a little crowing Antoinette,

In this corner, and still the champ, The U.S. of A, with a record of 67-0...a new president has taken the oath of office, legally and peacefully! (not counting the destruction of a Starbucks window front, where rumor has it, THEY DIDN'T SELL WINE!) That's a winning record better than Rocky Marciano. Even though it was peaceful, there are some who would like to honor the second place finisher with a reset, ala Russian foreign policy. That's called a mulligan in golf, and a do over if you're 10! Hey '80s can we get that foreign policy back? Just kidding. We don't want a cold war with anyone, especially fellow Americans. Not to worry, I have the solution for thawing the cold war and making everyone, most importantly the ladies, warm up! 😆 I don't know about you, but when I see a half million ladies roaming the streets holding signs talking about their lady parts, I give them wine. Well we can't reset the election, but we can reset New Years and give everyone something to crow about, a new New Years! Time to get this Monkey (2016) off our back, and reset 2017 this Saturday with a barnyard dance and ring in the Year of the Rooster. People from the Orient celebrate the changing year based on a lunar calendar, whereas in the Occident we base it off some guy named Gregory, no kidding! Does a Pope drink wine in the woods? There's a name for this kind of happenstance, it's called Another Reason To Drink Wine! Time to forget about the Soviet Union, join in on the most important holiday in Asia and choose Red like the Chinese, a glass of white, or if you prefer bubbly, look no farther than Mr. Chow. You might get a hangover, but that's the quid pro quo, #&*$! (Shameless Hangover plug!) All kidding aside, it's great to live in a country where we can peacefully protest fair elections, and celebrate New Year's as many times as we want! So pop a cork, and share the bottle with someone different from yourself. If you want respect, speak with respect and pour everyone a glass. Wine is a much better peace offering than the hard to find olive branch, and less messy and noisy than a dove. Coo Coo Ka Choo Mrs Robinson, Jesus loves you...and wine is the proof!

Inaugurate a "Wining" Resolution!

Be resolute Antoinette, 

Well you tried America...half way through the first month of the new year and unless you're like me, your resolve to be resolute about your New Year's Resolution is resoundingly resembling a long lost remembrance. Last week at the gym was more crowded than a Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Comic-Con, and NSYNC jamboree and they looked just as fit. This week at the gym looks like a Madonna concert (get it? Ghost town). Let me remind you that you can't break your resolutions unless you make them! Time to be like Mike..."I resolve to make no resolutions in the new year, and drink more wine". Feel better about yourself. Cash in your monthly charitable gym donation. Instead, stock your wine rack and buy a truck sidemirror. You'll have a smile on your face, and your corporeal "object" will appear smaller (read thinner) in the mirror! Setting goals is important. Setting attainable goals is important to personal well being. Setting a goal of drinking more wine is delicious. Better off replacing hours at the gym sweating, holding your gut in, and waiting in line for the Stairmaster with a bottle of chianti and a plate of spaghetti bolognese! Besides, it's MLK day...gyms and normal resolutions are about judging and living up to judgements. That's not what the Doctor wanted. Doctor Who?  Doctor King! I read somewhere (I'll find the source later), he said "only judge people on their character, what's in the wine cabinet, and are they willing to share." Remember boys and girls, judging people for judging is judging. I don't even know what that means, but ask yourself, "are you one of God's children? " I know you are, so don't worry about the color of the skin of the grapes, it's about the content of the bottle. Dream big America! Red bottles and white bottles can live side by side. There's even room in this 2017 America for those bottles with an effervescent lifestyle. Forget about resolutions, honor MLK, share a bottle of wine, then as Bono says, "One" More In The Name of Love, and Inaugurate a year of respect for each other even when you disagree. It's the playoffs. Get "wined" up and save your vitriol for the other team. Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life.

Cheers!

Cogito ergo sum! Lost in Translation!

Let me make sense of this Antoinette,

241 years ago today the most important pamphlet of the 18th century was published. Of course you know what that is… it’s Common Sense! (see what I did there) Thomas Paine had a great deal of inspiration for this piece. He had the repressive policies of British colonial rule and liquor tax, new found knowledge from the Enlightenment, Greek philosophical traditions and a couple of bottles of fortified wine... Madeira. The greatest democracy in the history of the world owes its creation to Wine. Philosophers have an old saying…before you opine, you wine. This long standing tradition dates back to the days of Plato and Socrates. Greeks gathered at the Symposia where they drank wine and discussed philosophy into the wee hours of the night. As Pliny the Elder said, “in wine there is truth.” We all know we are wicked smart after a few bottles of the Grape…just think back to college when you wrote your best papers with a bottle of Thunderbird and stale pizza. Fast forward a few centuries and you run into Descartes, a skeptic who doubted everything except one universal truth, “Je pense donc je suis.” Translated from the Latin to French to English reads, “To think, I drink wine, therefore I am" (sometimes things get lost or gained in translation) 😆. By the time we get to the American Revolution, our Founding Fathers refused to discuss the most important aspects of rebellion and nation building without the “benefits” of wine. They regularly met at the tavern to work out their differences over a shared bottle of wine, fortified themselves against the cold of Valley Forge with the warmth of the grape, and defeated the inebriated Hessians on Christmas Eve because they chose to drink schnapps (long known to sap your mojo) instead. Wine created us, enlightens us, and now it’s time it brought us together. For those of you old enough to remember another T. Paine quote, “these are the times that try men’s souls…” when you were learning the home row on the typewriter, can now help turn America into a "civil" Symposia where we share our wine and ideas with respect and encouragement. Remember the Founding Fathers averaged 2 bottles of wine each…that's just good common sense! Git'r'done!

The "sum, some, sem" of all years!

Let me sum it up for you Antoinette,

Happy New Year 2017! Out with the old and in with the new as they say (Not you Gigi, you can stay). It's time to sum up the past year before we ring in the new year with promises we aren't likely to keep. So in honor of Casey Kasem let's count down the 'hits'. In all years, you win some and you lose some. Maybe you met a winsome lass or handsome lad, or sadly, maybe a wearisome ass or loathsome cad. Just remember...every day above ground is a good day, and every day above ground with a glass of wine is awesome. Like every year, we begin in winter, then spring into summer before we fall back into winter. Something to think about? For some this may have been a bothersome or worrisome year filled with parti'sum'ship(poetic license) and that mess occurring in the nation's capital...you know...another disappointing year of DC sports. For others it was the consummate year and a fun loving, frolicsome year where maybe your foursome had a great day on the links and then shared a bottle of 'Som'ona County wine (wine dyslexia). Wine for thought boys and girls, one less than a foursome can be fun, or problematic (get it? 😆). We must learn the valuable lessons of '16 so we may reach the summit of fulfillment in '17. Principally, that the key to a sumptuous life assumes your consumption of wine will increase so that toothsome smile will never leave your face! All that is irksome will disappear! All that you eat and drink will be flavorsome! And no matter how tough the day, there will always be a lil sumpin' sumpin' good waiting for you when you get home! Time to cuddle up with that special someone, open a bottle of something delicious, share an order of Dim sum, and then resolve to spend some time making 2017 the neverending summer of all years! Keep your glass filled to the brim, your friends and loved ones close, and raise your glass to toast everyone who ate their black eyed peas getting lucky in the new year. Now go out and get some! Semper Fi!

P.S. Resolve to drink more wine. The resolution you can keep!