Since beer is now cheaper than gas Antoinette, I recommend you drink and don't drive.
Well Antoinette it's been a minute, but I hope you're doing well in this Twilight Zone episode I like to call, "What it's really like living in The Onion." When parody becomes reality you know it's time to get out of this Hotel California and find a safe space where booster shots🍷🍺🍸 are easy to come by, and there are no Fauxnies hiding behind their masks😷. That's right, Americans, and even the whole world (including Canadians) are now cast members in this real life parody... the theater of the absurd. You know the place, where the meaning of words are as malleable as play-dough. Trusting "the science" means political and social science. And any utterance or doing that's not FDA, CDC, BLM, LGBTQREXPIALIDOCIOUS, etc, etc approved gets you banned from all social platforms, ridiculed by state sponsored propaganda machines known as corporate media, and doxxed by shrill Karens who reek of kitty litter. You might want to fill your glass, because you're gonna need something strong...🍸 Maybe Snoop has some leftover Gin and Juice that $2.50 didn't drink at the Super Bowl half time extravaganza. You know where old felonious rappers used the N word more times than Rogan and Biden combined ever did. And hard core creative name speller person not of color rapper, Marshall Bruce Mathers III, knelt in honor of Tim Tebow to pray and thank the Lord that in an ironic case of affirmative action he was allowed to be the token at an old age rap battle of, "Who dat?"
And speaking of that very profitable gridiron classic por moi💰😁🍻, if you're wondering what precipitated the sudden huge smog cloud that enveloped Los Angeles late Sunday evening, it was just confirmed that it was the collective exhaling by the celebrity attendees, including famous breath holder, Mayor Do as I say not as I do🤡, at the Super Bowl who were valiantly holding their pollution for the entirety of the game because they were unmasked. Of course, as much as we deplorables admire Mayor Garćon, Jason Bourne, Bron Bron, J Lo and Argo, etc for respecting our safety, the skeptical among us are left scratching our head. "So mandates don't matter? Has the science changed and Dr. FauxChi-com forgot to tell us? What? They never worked and weren't for safety but just a big power play? You mean even immuno compromised Magic was maskless and unafraid?" Hmm...I agree, nothing to see here... excuse me I'm due for another booster...🍺...aah, see children, it doesn't even hurt. Btw, speaking of actors, does anyone know if the actor who played Wilson in Castaway, is the same one who played the volleyball in Top Gun?🏐 Just wondering. Also, do you realize the Academy Awards Ceremonies will have no vaccine restrictions on their Red Carpet attendees, but you peons have to show your vaccine card in La La land just to get into a movie theater?🙈
Oh well, I'm just getting started... I have several more points I've been pondering considering the fact that more and more when I wake up and check the news I immediately laugh and think YGBFKM! This can't be serious... right? Well like it or not it too often is... so maybe you can help me out with some of these head scratchers like for instance, how do you follow the science from people who think a man is a woman, babies aren't alive until they're born, a mask that can't hold water will keep out microscopic aerosolized particles and covid leaves town on a government specified date? Or how about this recent headline from Inside magazine, "No one talks about how hard the journey to getting pregnant can be for same sex couples." Honey where do you think this goes? I mean let's face it real science has been oppressed, repressed, suppressed, and full court pressed more times than a #BLM "leader" bought a million dollar house, or a Clinton adversary was suicided🪓. Known scientific facts like natural immunity, 2 sexes, cloth masks don't work and beer🍺 builds better bodies have been shunned in favor of "the science" which of course is irrefutable, undeniable, unquestionable and absolutely written in stone🪦. Any skepticism will lead to banishment from Big Brother media platforms, loss of job, medical care, a lot less friends on Facebook and subject to the shrill rants from Karens and others who actually should be muzzled. Now I know we would all like to trust those in positions above our pay grade, but an even better rule of thumb might be to follow the money 💰. Do you know who paid the largest fine in the history of the universe for lying, falsifying data, manipulating evidence and bribery ? Pfhree guesses and the Pfirst two don't count. Now I'm not suggesting they weren't working for everyone's benefit, but you could see where maybe someone could have questions. I mean it's not like the opioid problem💊 has gone away, or that the CDC doesn't get major funding from Big Pharma, or that China🇨🇳 doesn't need some high paid American bureaucrat to help fund gain of function research. What? I've been deplatformed...I haven't even published this yet... how could they possibly know. I bet my Big Brother told them. Maybe I shouldn't mention the fact that the 3 primary vaccine 💉manufacturers make $95 million a day... which of course has nothing to do with suggesting endless numbers of "flu shot" boosters, right? Remember kids, every time a commercial starts with, "you may be entitled to compensation" refers to something approved by the FDA or the like. I'm just saying protect yourself from the next variant...AnotherCon. Have you ever wondered... if masks work, why don't they? 🤔 Look kids, all I'm saying is if science wasn't questioned we'd still be drinking cocaine🥤, giving kids cough syrup with heroin, spraying people with DDT and believing the Wuhan Wham Bam came from a bat🦇 rather than a lab☠👨🏽🔬. But let's trust the science because it evolves you know. For example in DC, Mayor Bow Wow announced covid would no longer affect the people without vaccine papers effective immediately, and by March 1 will no longer affect the unmasked so there and in other sad states, you know... those that are blue, flu shots and masks will no longer be mandated at least until after the midterms. That is of course unless you happen to be a member of the least vulnerable group of people... kids... even though they have a greater chance of dying by suffocation, drowning, murder and watching too much television. Hey! We need to keep those snot nosed kids masked... because....I don't know, they don't vote? 🤷♂️. Even the CDC has now said cloth masks are no more than facial decorations and BLM and ANTIFA looting paraphernalia. In fact, the recommendation from Blue State leaders now is to just basically do what Texas and Florida did months ago. Speaking of the absurd, did you know in Loudon County you can be expelled for not wearing a mask, but only transferred to a new school for rape?
And from nothing to see here...Does anyone else find it ironic that the there are those who will tolerate no risk from covid, yet are mute on the exploding crime wave. Look, we all like a good bargain at the mall, but I don't think "Free to the first 500 looters with a baseball bat" is profitable long term. I think it's time we stop all this blue on blue crime... not to mention as CNN reported, "...a car drove through a Christmas parade, killing six and wounding scores more." Coincidentally, a recently bailed out person of no distinguishable pigment, who voiced targeted hate rants on social media happened to be sitting behind the steering wheel of the murderous vehicle. I know self-drive vehicles are the wave of the future, but self- homicidal cars? What are the odds these will be funded by the Clinton Foundation? I at least hope the judge throws the book at it and condemns it to Fast and Furious 1 too Many.
This just in...updated EEOC guidelines require new Supreme Court nominees to be selected from home depot paint swatches.
Does anyone find it ironic that Whoopi Goldberg (otherwise known as the black Caryn Elaine Johnson) culturally appropriated a name from a race she didn't know existed? Not to mention is there a more ironically named miserable group of people than Whoopi, Joy and Sunny? I think my View is spoiled... time to clear things up, 🍷.
And did I get this right? Biden shut down the Keystone Pipeline making us less energy independent, but will re-energize us with a new Crack pipeline? Oh that's the build back better. What...But only in poor communities to offset racism? Hmm, I guess he felt guilty because Hunter was born with a silver pipe in hand. 🙉 In fact, since Burisma is wrapped up and China owns all the Congo and their cobalt mines, Hunter can fill his time being the new Crack Pipe czar. You don't even need a laptop for that. 😜 And since we're speaking of drugs, does anyone else think it's ironic that an athlete got banned for not taking drugs? Sorry Novak D🎾.
Just asking, Does the fact that a man dressed like a lady won jeopardy for a month straight, and another man in a girls swimming suit won several NCAA "women's" races make women look better or worse? And speaking of someone who often dresses like a woman, do you think that when the AOC went to party in the hateful state of Florida, she got covid because the virus just wanted to date her? 🐴
Now boys and girls it's time for some quotable quotes that you couldn't make up. Remember, they said it not me: "Mandates are the best way to avoid restrictions." Dats Tru-deau 🇨🇦. And in case you were confused: "It's time for us to do what we've been doing and that time is everyday. " Kamalalala Dingdong 🦧
And speaking of the many potential precipices of WWIII, If you had to pick who is the least happy about the Biden presidency would you pick wannabe Soviet Russia, the Wuhan Chicoms, Almost Nuclear Iran, Fentanyl Dealing Drug Cartels on the southern border or Ukraine/ Taiwan? Just wondering the obvious here. 🤔
And finally, one more Truth is Stranger Than Fiction...In an effort to set the downhill speed record, American bobsleders named their sled Biden.🙊
But hey guys, it's Valentines week we should be making love not war on each other...
Time to stop being stubborn like an Ox, that was so last year, it's 2022, so let your Tiger out for the horizontal mambo and save the Claws for the next Frat Party (see what I did there, 😉) ... or maybe that Old Man telling you to get off his lawn, you know the one who claims to like Rockin in a Free World... well he doesn't want it Spotified. Ah, who cares, a Southern Man don't need him around anyhow.
He's a Real Nowhere Man anyway....
