Giving Thanks

God willing and the creeks don't rise, Thanksgiving will be a joyous, serene, indulgence of gluttony, boozing and the right team winning Antoinette. 

Well boys and girls the holidays are upon us. Relatives will be traveling to and fro to visit and share Turkey Day🍗 with those that they can't choose because they are blood or in-laws. And of course even when the Thanksgiving gatherers share the same gene pool👨‍👩‍👧‍👦, there's no certainty that all the various views will align. In fact there's a better than good chance that there may be some friction given today's political climate, rival football teams🏈, stuffing vs dressing, brown gravy or giblet, and is it pea-can or puh-khan pie🥧? So getting along at these festive gatherings can be harder than Chinese arithmetic💱. This is why we must do our best for the sake of the kids, and why you need to make sure you have plenty of adult beverages🍸on hand to take the edge off and lessen the whine by pouring the wine🍷. Time to remember all the reasons you have to be thankful...I'll lead the way👉. First the obvious then the personal reasons for giving thanks. Obviously, be thankful that you don't live in San Fran, L.A., or the 5th, 7th, 13th, or 14th districts! #fraudsquad and if you do...🙏. Be thankful that if it ever happens that you got sick and have to stay home relegated to daytime TV you have a lot of options for your viewing pleasure...that is if there is no wet paint to watch dry🤯. You can watch reruns of Bozo the Clown renamed the Schiff Show💩 and impeachment hoax🤡. Or maybe just tune into the Looney Tunes cartoons renamed the MSM, otherwise described as the propaganda arm of the DNC.🙈 Maybe you prefer watching sports news where you can watch an ex NFL player and millionaire beneficiary of America's bounty pretend he wants to play football again while ironically wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with a fictitious plagiarized character and no interest in making money off a new Nike ad...I think we see the Roots of this problem. #KunteKinte.🙊 Maybe it's time to give thanks for term limits in government...it's called the ballot box. So instead of having politicians who've served 44 years like Uncle Joe, 32 years like Nancy, 28 years like Maxine or 12 years like Hank "I'm worried about Guam capsizing and sinking" Johnson blame #45 for ruining things we can just clean "the House." We can all be thankful that the economy is booming, the stock market is setting records, unemployment is at it's lowest, and we've had years of relative peace. Though America is still a work in progress, it's the freest, safest, best place to live ever. Cheers!🍻 #MAGA!🇺🇸 We can be thankful that we have more choices of beer🍺, bourbon, wine🥂, whiskey, cigars than ever before. 🙌 We can be thankful that the climate apocalypse has passed us by for another year and probably much longer since winter is coming ☃️and #44 bought a multi million dollar beach house⛱. Personally speaking I'm thankful for football, the Nat's World Series win⚾️🏆, Laphroaig, Hendricks🍸, Guinness,

1926 Padrons, Great Wine, pick-up trucks and old jeeps. I'm also thankful for modern medicine's ability to tackle cancer, rooms full of books, old movies and hot Italian-Lithuanian blondes!😜 Yeah #metoo. And of course my two good looking, smart, athletic, personable Sons. #prouddaddio. 

The point of all this is that we all have plenty to be thankful for...maybe we just need a reminder that our glass is not half-empty, but instead it's half-full🍷. Look on the brightside, be thankful, be friendly and invite a friend over who you may disagree with and share a bottle of wine🍾. While you're at it go ahead and top that glass off. Might as well be overly optimistic!  We're all one big family and Thanksgiving is a good time to remember it's important to make this country of ours a welcoming Home🏡, even for those who can't think of a different first name than their last like Philip Phillips...

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone
'Cause I'm going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear

Don't pay no mind to the demons

They fill you with fear

The trouble it might drag you down

If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone

Don't Drink the Kool-aid

I've decided not to drink any more Antoinette! Of course I'm not going to drink any less either. 

Well it's getting to be that time of year. The holiday season🍗 is fast approaching and you know what that means... things get a little crazy🤪. 

Maybe it's because it's getting dark earlier and "The Shining"🗡 effect gives everyone cabin fever. Or maybe it's the impending holidays spent with in laws🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️, fruitcakes🎂, fruitcake euphemisms🧚🏿‍♂️, Black Fridays and mounting credit card debt💳, vacation traffic🚗🚙🚚🚔, tryptophan, static cling from too many layers, incessant efforts to impeach over failed attempts🚫 at framing the Prez while being televised ad nauseam, or maybe November just brings out the crazy in people making them walk around chanting "redrum." Yikes! Sometimes this craziness is laughable and sometimes it's tragic, and of course we know what that means... that's right...a good reason to drink. Barkeep... none of that Kool-aid, give me a taste of sanity!🍸...ahhhhhh! As any "good" lawyer will tell you, it's important to end your argument with your best point. With that in mind I'll start with the tragic events that November has left us with, before leaving you with something a little more uplifting or in the very least funny. Like Haha funny. Maybe even dad Joke funny😂. Now of course we all know what drink the Kool-aid means by this point. Well maybe millennials don't know why it means what it does, but I'm guessing they have a sense. What's that? "Ok boomer!"🤔 Anyway, drinking the Kool-aid is a sign that you're one of the sheeple🐏🐑. That morphed human sheep hybrid of drinking from the trough that nutbags like Jim Jones feed you. The mindless acceptance of swill you swallow in order to relieve yourself of responsibility, thought and self respect. This week marks the anniversary of when a Svengali convinced his followers first to kill a congressman and his delegation then commit mass suicide. Over 900 drank the kool-aid🥤. This month also marks the beginning of the Nuremburg trials. When many of the architects of National Socialism 👎who hadn't yet cowardly committed suicide were put on trial for getting millions of their countrymen and others to drink the Kool-aid that led to millions of casualties worldwide. The sheeple🐑 were led to believe someone else was the cause of their ills, and the state would provide all they needed as long as they did what they were told🗣. I mean who wouldn't sell out for a volkswagon🚗 und bier🍺!? Ach der lieber! Speaking of which... I'm gonna need a maas to rinse the bad taste🤮 of that thought. Ein bier bitte!🍺 And of course this month also lays claim to the tragic assassination of an American president by a Soviet communist admiring, Castro loving, cop killing sheeple who drank the Kool-aid of communism and followed his inner demons to ignominy. Baaaaa...d🐏. 

How about a toast to the eternal flame? 🥂🇺🇸 Perhaps much of this can be explained by another November occurrence. This week in 1859, the Origin of the Species was published explaining the reason for the actions of mankind. We aren't sheeple, Darwin explained. We are really a bunch of monkeys🐒 who belong in a circus🎪. If you don't believe me just look at the performances in the Schiff Show 💩📺 now airing on the MSM. Monkeys🐵, clowns🤡 and the organ grinder himself, the Big Schiff💩 will be acting daily instead of doing one beneficial thing for this country. And like sheeple, the monkeys see, and the monkeys do...do!🙈🙉🙊💩 This week also saw the premier of a movie📽 that said no, we aren't sheeple. We aren't monkeys. We are cuckoos! One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is one of the best movies ever. The protagonist wanted to get out of doing hard time so he pretended to be insane 🤪 and ride out his sentence in a mental institution. Of course there he runs into a lot of oddballs, and also Nurse Ratched!🧟‍♀️ She was sort of a metaphor for our time and all the pc nazis, big government/brother/sister types who are trying to suck the life and liberty🗽 out of America. I think you know who I'm talking about. #AOC #hrc #Pelosi #fraudsquad #feelthebern #Fauxahontas #pctypes etc. Nurse Ratched was the cold passive aggressive tyrant, who tries to intimidate everyone into submission by more rules, restrictions, punishments and anything else that would sap the joy out of life. So what did they do... they lobotomized him🤕 like a sheep. No thanks... give me a drink and a cigar!🍷🚬 And then finally, this month gave us something else. It gave us the caveat lector of why you avoid the Kool-aid drinkers, the sheeple, the monkeys, the cuckoo's and those who seek to shepherd them into the darkness where liberty dies. There's only one way for life to begin...sperm!🙊 So what better lesson than reading about the epic pursuit of the sperm whale🐳 that sank the Essex⛵, and gave Melville the inspiration to create the perfect cautionary tale... Moby Dick. Now of course if you're a guy and you put sperm ~ and Moby Dick🐳 in the same sentence, that's funny, and if I could work in Uranus🌑 I would butt...I digress. The lesson here isn't sperm, or Moby Dick or even Uranus, it's the obsessive, single minded, exclusionary, illogical pursuit of an illusionary source to blame for all that ails you by those using tyrannical means. The Jim Jones's, Hitler's, Big Brothers and anyone that tries to get you to march in lockstep over the cliff. The world's crazy enough without losing our individuality. Time to remake November-Newvember. Pour out the Kool-aid, refill with adult beverage of choice🍾🍷🍸🍹🍺 and remember a little crazy is ok once in awhile, but it's the holidays. Where would you be without friends and family. Remember, like JFK said,  "Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future." MAGA. Time to get the festivities started and celebrate our good fortune while we help those less so. And then maybe take some advice from Dobie Gray and turn to rock and roll when you wanna get lost for a bit and Drift Away 

Day after day I'm more confused
Yet I look for the light in the pouring rain
You know that's a game that I hate to lose
I'm feelin' the strain, ain't it a shame

Oh, give me the beat boys, and free my soul

I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Oh, give me the beat boys, and free my soul

I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Beginning to think that I'm wastin' time

I don't understand the things I do

The world outside looks so unkind

So I'm countin' on you to carry me through

Oh, give me the beat boys, and free my soul

I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

Give me the beat boys, and free my soul

I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

And when my mind is free

You know a melody can move me

And when I'm feelin' blue

The guitar's comin' through to soothe me

Thanks for the joy that you've given me

I want you to know I believe in your song

Rhythm and rhyme and harmony

You help me along makin' me strong

Oh, give me the beat boys, and free my soul

I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

11/11/11:00

Remember if you want to be on the right side of history, then you can't be the one still left after all is said and done Antoinette. 

Good morning boys and girls and all veterans.👨🏼‍✈️💂‍♂️👮‍♀️ Now in the 101st year since Armistice Day which became the day to celebrate the commitment and sacrifice of all Veterans, its a good time to raise your glass in salute! 🥂🍻🍾👍 Cheers!

And for those of you who get today off remember... you can't drink all day unless you start early so get busy, 😉.🍸 And because it is Veteran's Day, it's a good time to consider what is and isn't a hero. I know it's the time of excess, hyperbole, hyper sensitivity etc, but when we too easily assign superlatives they lose their meaning and become just another participation trophy🏆. Take for instance the pint sized Napoleonic billionaire former mayor of Gotham, who believes he needs to heroically save the Democratic Party from the life long dedicated public servants who became multi-millionaires on the public dime and are already in the race before they make an ass out of themselves, the party and the American people. "What? The Ass is their avatar? Hmm?" 🤔 Anyway, it's admirable that he is willing to spend some of his billions💰 (that's 10$ to you and me) to keep the party from jumping over the cliff into the abyss of socialist nonsense but what does he offer instead? Declare the 2nd Amendment unconstitutional? Ban big gulps🚫? Stop and frisk #AOC's "stereotypical" pothead relatives🚬? Of course I'm sure there are lots of people out there in 'Merica who are yearning for a candidate that thinks he's better than everyone else, smarter and is "heroically" willing to tell us how to live our lives.😱 Not to mention having the personality of a dishrag😑. Of course we know he's bitter that a fellow billionaire New Yorker gets to be Prez, but they do represent different people. One reps the people who say lay off my Mountain Dew 🥤and Winchester deer rifle👍, and the other wants those people to know their place while the sophisticated from the upper East Side tell them how to live👎. Oh and also keep Berniefeels and Squaw Warren away from the money that separates a real financier from people who just got rich off tax dollars👊. Where's the skill in that? So the NYT and "blue" bloods need a hero so with the aid of a step stool and horse, newly nicknamed "little Michael" will ride in and save the day🏇. But of course he's the hero in the same regard as Sgt Crapgame in Kelly's Heroes! Like Oddball said, "to a New Yorker like you, a hero is some kind of weird sandwich.🥪" Actually, if he were the Blue Blood candidate, the race would be more like author K. Schlicter described it with Trump as loud, garish developer Al Cervik🏌️‍♂️, and Little Michael as anal, snobbish Judge Smails👨‍⚖ (though Smalls would work... man you're killing me!⚾️)😉. Hey Blues, I bet if you decide to don a hat like that you get a free bowl of soup🥣. Don't worry, it looks good on you though! And I'm sure Trump's retort to a Bloomberg candidacy would be something like, "hey Smails, my dinghy🛳 is bigger than your whole boat🛶." Of course his "heroic" candidacy will anger many in his party, including the aforementioned as well as the Ilhan, Talib and Sarsour puss types who see this as an Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Huh?🙉 No worries you can be antisemitic if you're blue.🙊 I think it's time we remember that being heroic actually entails bravery. Sacrifice. Being dauntless. It's not driving a Prius. It's not virtue signaling your commitment to no longer use straws at least when nobody is looking. It's not that you hired a person of a certain color, gender, faith, disability etc. It's not showcasing every little thing you did on social media to signal your virtue. I voted, I'm wearing pink, green, blue, black, rainbows whatever. And it's not flashing your bare breasts at the World Series with a tee shirt that says Shagmag, and then say it's for breast cancer awareness🙈. Stop! You had me at ShagMag! Yeah #metoo. I choose capitalism over unheroic virtue signaling. Now let me just enjoy the beauty in what separates the sexes without the filter of faux wokeness! 😜 Like Walter Sobchak says he, "didn't watch his buddies die facedown in the muck in Vietnam..." to put up with this. And while there might not be a literal connection you get the point. So the moral of the story is tuck away your virtue signaling. Do your good deeds without seeking affirmation. Live your life according to the golden rule and remember that our Liberty exacts a toll, and our vets have heroically paid the price.

The least the rest of us can do is not screw it up and make what has made America great along with much of the rest of the world our focus. Thanks to our veterans and now I don't know about you, but like Oddball I'll be "drinking wine and eating cheese, and catching some rays, you know!" And for the rest "that's just, you know, like your opinion man." If you need a lesson in history or political guidance just check out Caddyshack, Big Lebowski and Kelly's Heroes. And if you're looking for a hero and since Danson and Highsmith missed the bushes, just ask Captain Gene... and it might be a little corny, but maybe it's you... The Other Guys. Otherwise you'll just be like Bonnie Tyler,  Hoping for a Hero. 

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn
And I dream of what I need

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night

He's gotta be strong

And he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light

He's gotta be sure

And it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life!

Larger than life

Quid Pro Quo

Times are confusing, but as T. Monk explains, "you've got to dig it to dig it you dig" Antoinette?

Well boys and girls it's the first week of November, the World Series⚾️🏆 is over and among other things it's an election week and that's always reason to drink...🍻cheers.

Now of course (and not to be confused with  every other year) this is what they call an off election. Now that may sound bad, but it's actually good in that we only get bombarded with inane, puerile and retarded politician's rants 🤬for about a week before the election instead of the plural form🗣. You know stuff like I'm running for county dog catcher🐕 and if I had a vote I would vote to impeach😡. Or I'm running for state delegate and my opponent supports the second amendment. He's in favor of murdering your children🤥. Or my favorite... I'm (fill in the blank) and I'm pro education and against nuclear war! 🤡Hmm as opposed to EVERYBODY ELSE IN AMERICA? Talk about D.S.'s!💩 Speaking of which, I wonder if they would vote present in condemning Armenian genocide, or demand the death penalty for soldiers delivering food in Somalia?🤔 #IlhanOmar. Ok... off track... where was I... oh yeah...🍸. Now as we know Quid Pro Quo is Latin for a segue! 😉 Actually, as we all know it's you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours🙈🙉🙊, or more formally put... if you want a piece of dis, give me a piece of dat!" 😉 You know like here's 5 bucks, give me a beer!🍺 Or in parlance that the woked up, virtue signaling cancel culture can understand... you better do this or I'll cry😭, stomp my feet😤, post horrible replies on your social media🤬, block traffic🤚, throw my own urine and feces at you💩, shout you down at dinner with your family and friends, take you to court🏛, boycott everything I don't agree with and generally have a shrill, temper tantrum and meltdown if you're lucky, and if not go postal if I/we don't get our way. Excuse me... runons make my mouth dry, 🍷. Of course the great irony is that democracy depends on compromise to succeed🤝. I give a little, you give a little. You know quid pro quo. But in the current heated political arena it has come to who's offering the quid, and how much quo am I getting💰. Otherwise, your quid pro quo could be a high crime even when it's not even a misdemeanor... if you have Schiff for brains that is 💩🧠. Now we all know this is how people and governments have been acting since Adam and Eve, the Medicis, UN, Marshall Plan, apartheid boycott, Steele Dossier, and the $150,000 seat on the Burisma Board for an American who's only knowledge of energy is what you get from a white line... you know like Mr. Chow says, "quid pro quo douchebag." Or when the NBA🏀 protests North Carolina for not letting men🚹 in women's bathrooms🚺 and reacts shrilly when Lebron Bron⛹🏿‍♂️🧚🏿‍♂️was told to shut up and dribble. As opposed to the very "different situation" 🤔 when the NBA forcefully mutes itself on freedom issues in Hong Kong for China's billions💱, and Lebron says hey we're just basketball players we should shut up and dribble⛹🏿‍♂️. These are all quid pro quos... some are retarded, but none are impeachable. Well actually the Steele Dossier probably was but that's probably been laundered now more than Monica's blue dress👗. Even Obama has taken the woke class and cancel culture to task... basically saying grow the f up and quit crying all the time... because the quo you're gonna get for that quid is a life you can't handle, and four more years of Orange!🤔 Of course the best and most important reason to be drinking this week is to bask in the glory of the National's World Series win🏆. Like Kurt Suzuki said... it's things like that keep MAGA'ing! Be like the winners, not the Rejects, unless they're All-American and straighten up or they'll just Give You Hell...

Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself

Where'd it all go wrong?

But the list goes on and on...

When you see my face
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song and you sing along but you never tell
Then you're the fool, I'm just as well
Hope it gives you hell