Classical Misgivings

When wine isn't the answer it's time to rephrase the question Antoinette. 

A classic example of a difficult language to learn is English, though it's not a "classical" language. And therein lies the problem. Many words have multiple definitions and uses and unless you're a wordsmith like B.Shakespeare, G. Bush, J. Biden or S. Dogg you might have some difficulties. A classic example of this is the word classic which can mean alternatively definitive, superior, timeless, typical, vintage etc... you can have class when you don't have class, or are not of a particular class, as long as you have classic style and manners. Like, "Stay classy San Diego!". Ok, time for class to begin. If you want to be a class act you should study the classics, learn classical languages, listen to classical music, and dress in classic style. Or you can be vintage classic and listen to classic rock, dress in classic Levi's and t-shirts, and rail against the class system while drinking $15 drinks at a classic venue that looks nothing like classical Greek architecture. You can listen to a classic rap song/rhyme but classical rap hasn't yet stood the test of time, so we'll see if it will ever be classical music. In order to help you decide if something will be classic, you can use my test...when it comes to the arts, if I can do it it's probably not any good and certainly not classic, except classically bad. I can make up words that rhyme but if that's what it takes to be a great musician then Dr Seuss would be the greatest rapper of all time. I can also play with a synthesizer and sample other's stuff so maybe I can be the greatest synth-pop band since Depeche Mode, nah! Since I can't sing and the only music instrument I can play is the radio, I'll stick to things I know how to do...I know how to drink a classic wine and I know how to drink it good. (I don't always know how to use grammar good... sometimes I make the classic mistake and missunderestimate the importance of not dangling my modifiers which would be a classic Freudian example of classic narcissism and redundancy. Never dangle your modifiers publicly). I will admit though, that my musical talents increase exponentially after a bottle of some uncorked classic deliciousness...I become a virtuoso of the air guitar... an air rock God with the sound of silence...perfect. (Psychologists call the above classical digression). We can all appreciate the classics, no matter our class level, as long as we have class. Just stick to the classic bottles of wine. A Napa Cab, an Anderson Valley Pinot, a sophisticated Bordeaux. You don't need to be a classically trained sommelier... some things you can appreciate without going to class. Time to skip class and go stick your nose into a glass of a classic wine, breathe in the aromas, then drink until your hearts content while listening to something classic. Don't worry about the rat race or getting left behind. It will be there when you return...

I understand about indecision
But I don't care if I get behind
People livin' in competition
All I want is to have my peace of mind. Classic!

Wine, Wit, and Wisdom

Drink  enough wine to sharpen your wit, and have the wisdom to know when to quit,  Antoinette.

The problem with social media (could there be more than one? ) is that it has reduced our thoughts to abbrev's, cliches and letters lol.  In this case less isn't more. We don't need more overused phrases and opinions that betray lack of original thought. We need to be smarter than that. We need to come together as one because it takes a village. But let's face it. That would be too difficult for most since apparently the village idiot is now plural. Thanks Hollywood and D.C.  (btw, I meant idiot in the nicest possible way) To be honest, at the end of the day we have to literally take the bull by the horns and give 110% effort until the cows come home if we are going to break the social media chains that bind us and prevent us from being thoughtful, intelligent human beings who express our thoughts clearly and do what's right. Remember when the going gets tough, the tough get going and whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Those of us who survive will then be able to avoid cliches and hackneyed phrases like the plague and seek a silver lining in the cloud of witless obfuscation that surrounds us all. I'm not being funny, but there is only one one way of doing things and that's the right way. And OMG, God willing, you already know what to do... just go out there and give it all you've got...the ol college try, and drink wine. In Vino Veritas! We know there is truth in wine, and we know there is wisdom because Ben Franklin told us "in wine there is wisdom... in water there is bacteria." And no one knows more about bacteria than Mr Pasteur who said "Wine can be considered with good reason as the most healthful and hygenic of all beverages." He's a smart French scientist for all you deniers out there with no possible hidden agenda.  Be fit as a fiddle and drink more wine. Wine is more healthy than an apple a day, and according to American smart guy B. Franklin each glass of liquid sunshine also reduces stress because "wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance." Don't just take his word for it...we also know laughter is the best medicine according to Reader's Digest and Goethe who say, "Wine rejoices the heart of man and joy is the mother of all virtues." Be virtuous, drink wine... and more importantly America,  be eloquent AF! (SMH). If you want to write good, drink wine. R.W. Emerson knew that "A man will be eloquent if you give him good wine." So time to be like Aristophanes and "quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever." Otherwise, I'm like all the other hash taggers and Art Buchwald,  "when it comes to writing about wine, I do what almost everybody does - fake it." It may be cliche to say but don't wait for me to give you all the answers. A watched pot never boils. Go out and win one for the Gipper. Find your own solution in every bottle cuz you'll only have yourself to blame if you don't. Make other people more interesting and beautiful and drink wine... the rose colored glasses of life. It will increase your odds of not going home alone by a gazillion percent. Like shooting fish in a barrel. Remember, beauty is in  the eye of the beholder. Wine has the answers to all your problems if you face them one day at a time. You can even cook with it... maybe even add it to the food. Forget about the curveball, Ricky, give them the [fastball] and show them The Way once "They drank up the wine, and they got to talking, they now had more important things to say."

Blockbuster is Back in Business

Time to pop the corn and fill your glass cuz it's gonna be a blockbuster Antoinette.

Well America it's the dog days of summer which means the undeniably best way to beat the annual global warming event is to find the nearest water hole, watering hole, or air conditioned theater to watch a summer blockbuster. The good news is all three are wine friendly. The better news is that this year's blockbuster might be able to give us a respite from "news" about Russian collusion and get those idiot protestors something else to do which they are more qualified to discuss... the "not real life" of the G.O.T. (don't forget the Ruskies like winter). Thank goodness. It's time to get all those types who like to throw rocks, fecal bags, and hissy fits to the safety of their mom's basement. It's hot out there and black pajamas and ski masks are out of season. Don't get me wrong, though I tend to keep my potty behavior to myself and am not likely to have online discussions about whether White Walkers really exist(that would be cultural appropriation), I do like the G.O.T. and I know what wine pairs best with the show that takes blood letting to the nth degree... the blood wine: Sangria. Over the years there have been many great summer movies just begging to be paired with the right wine. Who can forget the classic Fast Times at Ridgemont High? Back when Phoebe Cates was the dream girl and Sean Penn was almost cool... before he married Madonna and hung with El Chapo. Obviously too much time with gnarly buds in the van, and not enough time studying history with Mr Hand or a good vino. Wine: Barefoot Refresh. Then of course college started and it was time to check out Animal House. Just stay away from Kilns, Omega Theta Phis, and Dean Wormers wife. If you go to the Delta Chi toga party "have a [wine], don't cost you nothing." Wine: MD20/20. Of course sometimes we like to be scared and nothing will frighten you more than a screening of Jaws and thoughts of great whites before summer vacay. (Or any other color shark with which you choose to identify)  Nothing except maybe a newly revised dire prediction from our very own Nostradamus, Al Gore, that winter isn't coming. Just remember you're "...gonna need a bigger boat!" Wine: Sauvignon Blanc. Perhaps you like classic novels remade as dark hearted war movies like Apocalypse Now. Well if you "...love the smell of napalm in the morning" you're gonna need something with a good nose that is suited to the jungle and appropriate for a snob like Marlon Brando. Wine: Cambria Chardonnay. Of course if you like movies about what happens to guys who offend Brando look no farther than the Godfather. Remember, "it's only business" and when you're done "leave the gun, take the cannoli." Good movies about Sicilians and Sicilian food needs the perfect pairing. Wine: Sicilia Làvico. And finally, nothing says blockbuster like any Bond...James Bond movie. Just remember, "there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit." So if you're heading to the Casino Royale, skip the dry martini and choose an appropriate wine before the final curtain. Wine: BV Tapestry. Sean Connery would and he always got the girl. Of course he also knew how to dress...Silk suit, black tie, don't need a reason why. They come runnin' just as fast as they can, 'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

It's no Game sitting on the Throne!

Never storm a Bastille sans vin Antoinette!

You know what you call somebody from Maine? A Mainiac! That's cuz they don't mind the 9 month winters that didn't get the notice about global warming, the dragon sized mosquitos and black flies, and the fact they are willing to man the "Wall" to protect us from an invasion by the Canucks (Eh?) or even White Walkers for that matter. But not to worry...Mainiacs are a hearty lot. Tempered on the outside by a harsh environment making them tougher than Valerian steel, and fortified on the inside by the magical elixir we call wine. That's right... ever since Tyrion Lannister visited the north and taught the locals that "everything is better when you've got some wine in your belly" the people keep living longer and longer. Just ask one of Maine's "wildlings", Florence Bearse of Bangor, who just turned 100 and celebrated by doing a handstand wine chug. Florence claims that the secret to a long life is drinking plenty of red wine, not taking any baloney from anybody (salami is ok), and avoid ruling from the Iron throne. We already know wine helps lower cholesterol, prevents heart attacks and strokes, and delays cognitive disorders. Obviously, the masked protestors at the G-20 in Hamburg were drinking kiddie alcohol like Fireballs instead of a brain developing beverage like wine, because nothing gets your point across more than burning down family run businesses... not! Time to smarten up people. Drink lots of wine. Live long like Florence, and enjoy life like the French who know how to endure maniacal kings as bad as Joffrey, femme fatales worse than Cersei Lannister, blitzkrieging armies worse than dragons, and disruptive strikes that would make G-20 protesters scurry home to the shelter of their parent's basement in time for season 7 of G.O.T. They do this with that classic French je ne sais quoi (translated as a lil sumpin sumpin, or a little flavor flav) and wine. How do I know this? I drink wine, I know things.  Help the French celebrate Bastille Day this week and the fact they haven't been invaded this century. Also, live longer, get smarter (de blasio), and enjoy the summer sunshine by drinking more wine. Remember, winter is coming! Live life with elan and a Bordeaux! Or is that a blonde and a Margaux? Either way, if you have a point to make, make it an intelligent point and For What It's Worth...There's battle lines being drawn. Nobody's right if everybody's wrong. Young people speaking' their minds...It's time we stop, Hey, what's that sound? Everybody look! What's going down?

Well I Declare, it's the 4th of July

Time to celebrate 'Merica's birthday Antoinette,

Oh say can you see that 12 score and 1 year ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal and wine shall be the tax free drink of choice. That we are endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That each person shall get his fill of wine, women/men (remember, settled science and the D.C. DMV hadn't yet invented other truths) and song. We hold these truths to be self evident, but unfortunately the laws of nature and enlightened ideas have been replaced by science...political science that is!  It makes you long for the days when our politicians wrote documents that were eloquent, sincere and courageous. When they didn't  have to resort to hyperbole, propaganda and "misinformation" from VFNN and others. Well I'm here to pick up where T.J., Ben, Abe, Teddy, FDR, JFK and Ronnie left off and remind you of our foundations and why we celebrate the 4th of July with wine and song. The men, women or other you share the explosions with is on you 😉🇺🇸💣🎆🥂. To begin with I solemnly declare that 100 million Americans will DIE...of thirst if they don't have plenty of wine to drink this 4th. That's a universal health plan on which we can all agree. It's gonna be hot so you may want to make it a Frosé. Then get together with friends, family, and neighbors to celebrate. It doesn't matter whether they are a cool rocking daddy Born in the USA,  or they've got a dream they'd like to share, and they're Coming to America for the first time... pop a cork and say cheers. And if you don't know Gov. Christie and can't find a place at the shore, time to start counting the cars on the Jersey turnpike, and [go] look for America. It's everywhere. Anywhere you look. And wherever you find it there will be wine, food and amity except if you go to the levee, [because] the levee is dry as far as wine goes, but ask them good old boys, there might be some whiskey and rye left, but forget about the American Pie, it went bye bye.  Just remember it's time everyone joined hand to hand, across the nation, Living in America. We got to have a celebration…for the promised land... and Living in America. So wherever you are and whoever you're with... some are black and some are white,  just don't  be too proud to sleep on the floor tonight [cuz] its time to R.O.C.K. in the USA and maybe get a French kiss, Italian ice, or [sangria] in the moonlight just like it's another American Saturday Night. And if you want to know what I'll be doing I got my hands up, They're playin' my song, I know I'm gonna be ok, Yeah, it's a Party in the USA! Have a blast. Drink all the wine you want. Everyone's invited to the longest, greatest, political celebration the world has ever known... except terrorists, isis, Lil' Kim (the one in North Korea), anyone whoever "promised" to move to Canada, or anyone with a man bun. Don't try and crash this party 'Cause we'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way. Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue.