Classical Misgivings

When wine isn't the answer it's time to rephrase the question Antoinette. 

A classic example of a difficult language to learn is English, though it's not a "classical" language. And therein lies the problem. Many words have multiple definitions and uses and unless you're a wordsmith like B.Shakespeare, G. Bush, J. Biden or S. Dogg you might have some difficulties. A classic example of this is the word classic which can mean alternatively definitive, superior, timeless, typical, vintage etc... you can have class when you don't have class, or are not of a particular class, as long as you have classic style and manners. Like, "Stay classy San Diego!". Ok, time for class to begin. If you want to be a class act you should study the classics, learn classical languages, listen to classical music, and dress in classic style. Or you can be vintage classic and listen to classic rock, dress in classic Levi's and t-shirts, and rail against the class system while drinking $15 drinks at a classic venue that looks nothing like classical Greek architecture. You can listen to a classic rap song/rhyme but classical rap hasn't yet stood the test of time, so we'll see if it will ever be classical music. In order to help you decide if something will be classic, you can use my test...when it comes to the arts, if I can do it it's probably not any good and certainly not classic, except classically bad. I can make up words that rhyme but if that's what it takes to be a great musician then Dr Seuss would be the greatest rapper of all time. I can also play with a synthesizer and sample other's stuff so maybe I can be the greatest synth-pop band since Depeche Mode, nah! Since I can't sing and the only music instrument I can play is the radio, I'll stick to things I know how to do...I know how to drink a classic wine and I know how to drink it good. (I don't always know how to use grammar good... sometimes I make the classic mistake and missunderestimate the importance of not dangling my modifiers which would be a classic Freudian example of classic narcissism and redundancy. Never dangle your modifiers publicly). I will admit though, that my musical talents increase exponentially after a bottle of some uncorked classic deliciousness...I become a virtuoso of the air guitar... an air rock God with the sound of silence...perfect. (Psychologists call the above classical digression). We can all appreciate the classics, no matter our class level, as long as we have class. Just stick to the classic bottles of wine. A Napa Cab, an Anderson Valley Pinot, a sophisticated Bordeaux. You don't need to be a classically trained sommelier... some things you can appreciate without going to class. Time to skip class and go stick your nose into a glass of a classic wine, breathe in the aromas, then drink until your hearts content while listening to something classic. Don't worry about the rat race or getting left behind. It will be there when you return...

I understand about indecision
But I don't care if I get behind
People livin' in competition
All I want is to have my peace of mind. Classic!