If you think things are tough now, in twenty years our country will be run by kids who were homeschooled by drunks Antoinette.😬😷😜🍻
Well my fellow Americans, in case you were worried I managed once again to not only participate in but also survive the great confluence of events that led to the celebration🎉🎆🍸🍹🍺🍻🥂🍷🍾 of Cinco de Mayo on Taco Tuesday🌮 with Margaritas while in danger from a Chinese virus named for a Mexican Beer🍺. I think that's called the right stuff🦸♂️👍👌☝️🤜🤛. And Cliff Claven thought he had it tough when Sears and JC Penny catalog came out on the same day. Cheers!🍻 Now I don't know about you but I needed a little celebracion because things have gotten a little stale. The sameness of the routine can weigh you down and I'm sure many of you feel the same. Perhaps you have the feeling you've awakened to, "then put your little hand in mine, there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb." Not to worry, cuz I've got you Babe. And though reality is starting to feel like Groundhog Day, there are some positives from the shut down of normal life and consequently I'm here to point those out to you while reinvigorating you to count your blessings. First of all, for those of you not fortunate enough to be employed in an essential industry like me (alcohol) where drinking on the job is required like mine... chin chin🥂, you can now drink to your hearts content without those looks of disdain from office do gooders and teetotalers. My only advice in this regard to stave off Zoom room gossip is to keep your favorite adult beverage out of webcam view. You're welcome.
Of course there are other benefits. Your commute is much shorter if you're working from home, or out of a job for that matter. And in both cases your dry cleaning bill should be non- existent. It's also your chance to be eco-friendly. Just pretend you're French since you can't vacay anytime soon and save the shower for Saturday night or until you're significant other says enough🤧😠. Besides, since all the SJW's who worked tirelessly to rid California et al of straws, are now clogging the landfills with latex gloves while also polluting the world with gazillions of gallons of disinfectant, we're going to need an ecological offset. There is also the added benefit to get things done around the homestead that maybe you've been putting off, or maybe were problems you didn't know you had. You also have the benefit of playing off "serious work from home" vs "the honey do list." Take your pick of the lesser of two evils, or if you play your cards right pretend you're doing either or both and continue what you really want to do...🍺! Now of course if you opt for the home project and are tired of building and staining more bookcases comme moi, then you can fix the Sirius problem of aligning your presets to a more functional order. No reason not to be feng shui in your vehicle. Now in my case I have 4 screens of presets with 6 each so of course screen 1 should be favorites/ genre inclusive, i.e. 20-25-28-36-59-60. Then of course screen 2, 3 and 4 you line up the lesser played, seasonal e.t.c stations that you can still get to quickly from steering wheel controls. However, in accomplishing this laudable goal I did notice that there is much that is redundant and extraneous about Sirius. For instance the decades are cool, but then you get to a couple local radio stations... if you want to listen to local then why get Sirius? 🤔 Moving on... of course you have to have the Beatles otherwise some bug driving adoree will go apoplectic but where's the better band... the Rolling Stones? Obviously there's a channel for the King and the Boss! And next a really cool channel for learning about music roots... 21. But then Pearl Jam? Correct me if I'm wrong... actually don't cuz I'm not... how many Pearl Jam fans are there still out there and do the they actually have enough listenable music for 24 hours a day? Seriously, just put them in the rotation on Lithium. And the Grateful Dead is hard enough to take 2 songs in a row, but then you get Phish a few notches up... yeah I hear you out there and I don't care. Now in between is good and the rotation on 30 is a good idea but why does Billy Joel have to be on every other month? Give him Pearl Jam's channel. Things are good for awhile though I think 9 stations for rap/hiphop is a little redundant... I mean how many channels are necessary for rhyming rap about ho's with the clap when all you fellas know all dey bitches want is flo and if you just listen to the news you'd know the best rhymes come from Dr Seuss! Word... and yeah #metoo! Ok back on track with a little more from the department of redundancy department... first the Flyover channel's... dance/ electronica sponsored by Advil!🤕 Then of course time to put the brakes on cuz you're in the country now and hey...I like country. Besides they need 8 channels because it's definitely evolved over the decades so you need the different channels. What's that? So has rap? Hmm.🤔 Not buying it... I'll take 2. The one for family listening (is that even possible? ) and the one for those Left with double standards on things like #metoo, #believeallwomen and #savelives, etc. After this there's a lot of personal choice... gospel, blues, opera, classical, sports, news, e.t.c. But don't forget about Sinatra, Siriusly and of course the comedy channels🤣. Ok everything is in order. Now time to get that Rump Shak[ing] and Zoom back to that meeting with Wreckx-n-Effect and earn some money...
And a poom-poom, just shake ya rump
And a poom-poom, just shake ya rump
And a poom-poom, just shake ya rump
And a poom-poom, just shake ya rump
Check baby check baby one two three
Check baby check baby one two
Check baby check baby one
