In Vino, Veritas!

Yes, there is truth in wine Antoinette,

John Adams may have been right in 1790 when he said, "Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." But just like Virginia Slims, "we've come a long way, baby!" This is 2017, and it may be cray to think, but we are like totes more sophisticated now. Like you know? 😎And we've cured the stubborn fact blues...we just invented alternative facts. In the end it's all about perspective. Your wine glass can either be half empty or half full, but since we are in the business of Making America Great Again, fill that puppy up, lighten up your perspective with a summer white, and feel free to choose your own facts. It's good with summer fare, and even better for tourism. Just ask the enterprising Scots of Loch Ness...this week in 1933 commemorates their two for one wine specials which proved better than binoculars for locating local pet Nessie. Of course it also made the photography a little fuzzy, but that's the price you pay for the "truth". You don't necessarily have to spin facts, you just need to apply them to the right situation. For instance getting one out of every three right on exams will get you a mulligan for the class, otherwise know as summer school. But if you hit one out of three in baseball you'll get to the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown. In war...well it kind of depends on which one of the three you win. Take France for instance (if you don't know how just ask Germany, 😉) Historically speaking, France was one for three this week in war. (With all the practice they've had, you'd think they'd be better at it by now) So you might be wondering is their wine glass half empty or half full, and of course the answer is oui. They may have lost the Battles of Puebla, 1861 to a handful of Mexican peasants, and the Battle of Dien Bien Phu to a handful of Vietnamese peasants in pajamas in 1954, but in 1945 they (otherwise known as the U.S. Army with some close friends) drove the free loading Nazis out of the French Champagne region. Nice win, nice wine! And if you look at the other 2 losses,  its just about perspective! Because of the Battle of Puebla, we Americans get another excuse to drink the national drink of Mexico on Cinco de Mayo, VINO! And because of Dien Bien Phu and maybe one or two other events, we get to sit our lazy derrieres down on the couch, order up some Vietnamese delivery, open a bottle of French wine and watch the French mastermind, Inspector Clousseau solve the Pink Panther mystery. Merci Pierre! Thanks for helping make America Great and no matter how your election turns out you'll just need the right bottle of wine and a Spin Doctor for the vote when... One, two, princes kneel before you, That's what I said, now. Princes, Princes who adore you, Just go ahead, now. One has diamonds in his pockets. That's some bread, now. This one, he wants to buy you rockets, Ain't in his head, now.

Tres Existential!