Mayday! Mayday!

May I pour you some more wine Antoinette?

You have to love May. Not only is it a month chock full of celebrations from day one when we danced around the maypole and welcomed spring with a bouquet of mayflowers and a bottle of gamay. Or maybe you liked your party with a little more mayhem and wanted to Feel the Bern of a "Red" party (😉) to celebrate your favorite failed economic system. (Fyi, pink[o]s work just as well, hehe) Just remember to protect yourself with Allstate if you go the mayhem route. But May is also the most polite month. May doesn't ask "Can I have a party and drink wine"...of course you can you're an adult. May asks "May I have a party and drink wine?" Hear the difference? Not only does it sound so much nicer it's grammatically correct. Hopefully you kept the amity going and extended well wishes to all your Star Trekkie neighbors. May the 4th be with you. The more wine you drink the less chance Darth Vader and his Klingon buddies have of ruining your day. Nobody wants a war in the star system. Help Captain Kirk out so he doesn't have to send a mayday out to Hans to save him. He may be busy with Lt. Leia or Princess Uhuru, who knows. And Spock and R2D2 are too busy arguing over whose ears are bigger to solve your probs. (If the above angers you time to pour yourself more wine and go watch a movie about gnomes Bilbo Baggins) Now don't dismay. Before your hangover wears off, May gave us another reason to drink wine on Cinco de Mayo, where we could grab our Mayan neighbors, uncork a bottle of M[acMurr]ay Pinot Noir, and take turns on your choice of pinatas... maybe James Com[a]y? Then of course the next day you got to keep the wine fiestas going and hop on your favorite horse and "run for the rosé's"at the Kentucky Derby. It doesn't stop there...Mother's Day, Memorial Day, Graduation Day! Just make sure your wine is smooth and easy and then you'll be steezin with good reason. Also, if May is your birthday don't be bull headed. Grab as much wine as you can carry in your Taurus and get to the party. If it's at Obi Wan Kenobi's pad, take the Gemini Rocket and your BFF Chekov, there's room for two. Though I'm a ma[y]ven on space movies and horoscopes, I'll stay grounded in reality and drink my wine with someone normal. You know him..He's the hairy-handed gent who ran amuck in Kent. Lately he's been overheard in Mayfair. Better stay away from him. He'll rip your lungs out Jim. I'd like to meet his tailor...Aaoooooo!
Werewolves of London!