Climate change is Real... ly getting on my nerves Antoinette!
The rancor, the shrill talking heads and pundits, and the never ending surplus of social media geniuses with all the answers and with whom there's no recourse unless you think, "yeah, say that to my face - time" gives you satisfaction. All this vitriol has raised the world temperature more than all the Chernobyls and Taco Bells put together. Warning: if you haven't been keeping up with the goings on around the world recently you might want to replace your wine glass with a pitcher... you're going to want it because the world has gone insane. Can you say insane or does that offend all the nutjobs sensibilities? Ok, change it to the world has gone inane and full of fatuous types which leads us back to insane nut jobs... but not to worry...I have the solution that will lower the temperature to the point where you will think winter is coming and you would be cool hanging out with the White Walkers...yup, Wine! Making the world chill for millennia and allowing us to deal with all the anomalies like the fact that climate global warming has caused a thickening of the sea ice, leading scientist to cancel an artic expedition on global warming. That's Bad. Wine: Riesling. Or college dropout Mark Zuckerberg, giving a commencement speech suggesting we give everyone $3k per month so they can find out what they like to do, cuz robots will replace them anyway. This inanity is known as "Bernia"... where someone says stupid things that sound good to those with limited thinking and limited gumption in order to get votes. This place exists Where the streets have no names. Wine: prosecco. Let me see...States are legalizing weed and we're gong to get 3000$ month, coupled with the parents WiFi... hmm, the basement won't become dad's man cave when the kids leave... they ain't leaving. I will follow. Wine: sauvignon blanc. I hope Whole Foods has plenty of organic frozen pizzas, or Amazon is gonna get some angry calls from basement dwelling consumers. Stand up for your rights and have some Pride. Wine: Chianti. Not to mention we are living in a Deep State... of denial, where truth is stranger than fiction. But the 'Reality' is, anyone can be a 'Winner' whether you know it or not. As for me I still haven't found what I'm looking for. Wine: Zinfandel. Also, astronomers have apparently determined that the 4th rock from the Sun, Mars, is warming like the 3rd rock from the Sun. Apparently Matt Damon's atv had a catalytic converter designed by Volkswagen. Actung Baby. Wine: Gewürztraminer. It gets crazier...former top crime fighting lawman says he's no Captain Courageous, but never fear, former presidential candidate likens herself to wonder woman and will save the world...With or Without you. Wine: mimosas. Not to worry lawman, VP of Russia says you can have asylum with him, the insane asylum... where this New Year's Day you can leak whatever you want. Wine: Sangria. Speaking of asylum, France is offering refugee status to Americans upset by withdraw from the climate accord. It might be a long wait at the airport behind all those people from Hollywood moving to Canada. But hey, summer in Paris, that sounds like a Beautiful Day. Wine: Bordeaux. And not that they were asked, but Puerto Rico voted to become a state (along with Bhutan, Malawi, Ukraine and China). Hey this is the United States and since we will be losing all those peeps to Paris and Canada we'll need some replacements. E. Pluribus Unum. Let's all be One. Wine: Super Tuscan. Lastly, and sadly we need climate change because the temperature of hate and violence doesn't pair well with wine. It's the kind of thing that makes you want to shout Covfefe! Argue, don't yell. Disagree, don't hate. Spill wine, not blood. No more attacking America's game, and no more Sunday, Bloody Sundays. Wine: the kind you share with your neighbor.
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