This Dude Abides!

Water is still wet, the pope is still Catholic, and wine still tastes good Antoinette. 

What would we do without experts and scientists and Mr Hand?🤔 I mean how else would we learn that after experimenting on mice, Keanu Reeves, Lindsay Lohan and Snoop Dogg scientists have concluded that continued use of cannabis😯 causes memory loss, unhealthy eating habits 🍕and other reduced brain functions like low history grades. Dude! Like for real? That's a bummer man. Come on, it's not like we all didn't know a Spicoli, or Bill and Ted, or Mary Jane😉 in high school... funny to be around, but not the one you wanted to sit next to on test day🙈.  I hear you out there, "yeah well that's just like your opinion man". Don't worry, as long as you abide you'll be alright. And not that there is necessarily a tie in, but scientists have also determined that after decades of rising IQs, the trend since the 70s is a decline of nearly 7pts per generation, or about 5pts per decade.🤓 Do we really need scientists to prove this to us empirically? I think the anecdotal evidence is plenty. I mean the world is running out of basements, safe spaces and original thoughts faster than SJWs can generate a meme protesting Jesus as a supreme court nominee. (No, SJW is not a Jewish PAC angry at Jesus for changing sides, nor a single Jewish woman looking for a good man with a future🙉).  But wait, there's more news where science and anecdotal evidence align. However, before you get your knickers in a twist (sorry I was watching the British Open this weekend), don't worry, it's not a tumor.  If it was a tumor, you'd just have to terminate it (see what I did there😁) with a steady dose of red wine🍷. That's right...scientists in Rio have discovered that resveratrol laden red wine shrinks many cancerous tumors as well as curing just about every affliction known to mankind, wo-mankind, and the undecided-kind. Besides being healthy, we know anecdotally that it's a beauty aid, IQ enhancer, pairs well with food without causing binging, bridges all divides, adds sophistication to even the dankest basement get together, and is the be all, end all in celebration beverage🍾! There's a reason that the oldest annual sports championship is named after and played for the Claret Jug!🏆 It's a prize worth winning, as well as a prize made to fill with the sweet nectar from Bordeaux... or this year a nice Barolo, because finally Italy has something to Saluti!🇮🇪 Though it was a tough year for Gli Azzurri not making the World Cup⚽️, all they could have won was a trophy misnamed the world cup... cuz there's no cup! Nowhere to put wine to celebrate!🙊 FIFA must be cannabis fans and forgot what cup means. Not to worry, Francisco Molinari brought glory to Italy by being the first Italian winner of a golfing major by winning the British Open🏌️‍♂️. So now time for wining🥂...fill the jug with enough wine for all, and share the love, or as they say in Italian, That's Amore!❤

When a moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore!