Wine is the Missing Ingredient!: Hail to the Chiefs

It's funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems excessive, but 8 beers just seems like a good first half of the game Antoinette.

Well America, once again it's the Tuesday after the super bowl which means it's our second workday of the week... no Monday holiday. I say it's time to move past this impeachment sideshow and focus on what will truly #MAGA and #KAG. #SUPERBOWLMONDAY should be a national holiday!🥂🎉🎆 We respect the solemnity of the birthday of that "8 pound, 6 ounce, newborn baby Jesus don't even know a word yet," and give everyone the day off🎄. We also get time off for his death and resurrection. So it's seems only fitting that the other main religion in America, football🏈💒, receives the same respect. A day to relish in victory or languish in defeat😎😭. A day to count your blessings like your prop bet winnings from the orange Gatorade and the under on the Anthem👩‍🎤, as well as a day to prop up the struggling pharmaceutical companies💊...well actually that's less about them and more about erasing the after effects of your many adult beverages of choice🤕. Remember, win or lose we booze🍺. Anyway, these are the tough issues we need our politicians addressing in the Hawkeye State. Instead we get the infighting and fratricide of the blue party trying to be all things to all people while telling everyone the sky is falling even when it's not. In fact it's so bad now that Dems are afraid that with Uncle Joe sinking faster than an olive in a Pelosi martini, Bernie Feels might get elected thereby interrupting the corrupt nature of the #DNC. In order to stave that eventuality off we get the billionaire version of B.S. ...the candidacy of M. Gloomberg along with his ridiculous and expensive commercials. I've seen statues with more personality🗿. On top of that now we even have the possibility that Teheran Kerry will throw his hat in the ring as payback for sidekick Soleimani to avert a potential party Bern! Well if that doesn't work there's always the chance he could suicide himself. 🤔 #imwithered. You may also be wondering about the Asian guy👨🏻‍🏫, or the gay guy🧚🏼‍♂️, or what's her name and what's his name🎭.... stop it... that's the kind of funny that's not Haha funny. Those are just resume building candidacies. Then all that's left is the one person that can represent all the victims in the Big Teepee Party🎪. I'm talking about the Heap Big Chief. No, no... not Super Bowl winning, MVP earning Patrick Mahomes of the Kansas City, Missouri bordering Kansas City, Kansas Chiefs.

I'm talking about the one with no shortage of wampum to spread. The inverse of B.S. where you get S.B...Sitting Bull!

#Fauxahontas Warren... the white lady from Massachusetts. Now of course Mahomes looks like a Chief, afterall, he's got the headdress with the arrowhead, but I'm guessing he doesn't have the high cheekbones and he certainly can't get fictitiously fired for having a papoose. 🤥 👶 I wouldn't be surprised though if Sen. Warren claimed victory in Iowa because of her tribe's victory over the 49ers. Score one for the Indians over those invading gold miners.🏹 Apparently though, nobody can claim victory in Iowa at the moment. It seems as though either Russia, Ukraine, Burkina Faso, the Seychelles or the #DNC may have interfered in the raucous caucus in the heartland. I don't know about you, but I smell a #Swalwell.🤭 Hmm, anyway there's more good news...Punxsutawney Phil couldn't find his shadow so we are in for an early spring. Apparently, the weather forecasting rodent is not a denier and global warming should be on time. That's not to say it won't snow, or freeze or get really hot in between... those are just more proof of climate change.🤔 I say it's always the man's👤 fault... unless of course it's not. In fact I think there was a fair amount of global warning occurring in the middle of the Chief's win on Super Bowl Sunday...