Wine Olympics

Kalimera Antoinette

Now that we are in the midst of the Olympiad it's time to consider the close relationship between the Olympian spirit and wine. The original games were held at the foot of Mt Olympus, home of the Gods including most importantly the last of the 12 Olympians... Dionysius...God of Wine. Now Zeus and the boys could pull up a rock, drink a jug of retsina wine and snack on stuffed grape leaves and cheetos while jeering their opponents, placing bets, making fun of the halftime show, monitoring their fantasy teams and arguing over whether or not the Spartans were using P.E.D.s. Well the Greeks figured out that wine is the only reliable performance enhancer and legal as long as you don't drive after taking it, Michael Phelps. In fact wine is a much better performance enhancer after a win as part of the celebration. Otherwise the synchronized diving event would become the belly flop contest, and archery might lead to WWIII. Dump the Gatorade on the head of the winners and drink the champagne. It revitalizes the body and is a great P.E.D. for the horizontal mambo. And in the spirit of teamwork, if you really want to make that Bloody Mary taste good tomorrow, have to load up on the wine tonight. That's what teammates do...help each other out. So raise your glass and toast our athletes... Phelps, Lidecky, the gymnastics team and Lilly King for giving those Spartans (Russians) the business. Apparently the message from Rocky IV didn't register when noted wine connoisseur Rocky Balboa told Drago...steroids got nothing on a Columbia Valley Merlot. Then proceeded to "break him" in the ring and end the cold war single handedly with a post fight speech... Rocky: "During this fight, I've seen a lot of changing, in the way you feel about me, and in the way I feel about you. In here, there were two guys killing each other, but I guess that's better than twenty million. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!" Who would have thought we'd have to go back to Sly Stallone to find an eloquent political voice! If only Kennedy had popped a cork with Kruschev and told him that we could have bypassed the Berlin Wall and Cuban missile crises, avoided East German judges and the Soviets stealing our '72 basketball gold and no cold war! Give peace a chance, compete on the field then drink wine and thank the Greeks for 24/7 sports!

Next time you get grief for laying around all weekend watching sports, drinking wine, and eating chicken wings...just remind them of the debt civilization owes the Greeks and their wisdom. 

Yamas!