Fake news you can belive in!

Rise and shine Antoinette,

Have you ever wondered what Canadians do during the long winter months stuck inside because of freezing globally warming winters? No, me either. However, this winter researchers at the University of Alberta have discovered the magical elixir that will allow you to cancel your gym membership, stop spending $100's on coordinated gym outfits, and exposing yourself to unwanted judgements from others. You already know what I'm talking about...that's right...Resveratrol. One glass a day is the equivalent of an hour long gym session and all you're doing is sitting in the Barcalounger in your skivvies. I hear you skeptics out there, and I know you'll just chalk this up to fake news especially since the source is the Puffington Host. The last time they got something right was...well nevermind...but even a blind squirrel gets a nut every once in awhile. And speaking of nuts, today also marks the anniversary of the discovery of another magical elixir in pill form that often goes hand in hand, or something better, with the workout in a glass. A cure-all in a glass that improves physical performance, heart function and muscle strength in the same way as they’re improved after a gym session? Where can you get this you ask? Well you're gonna like this...just try any bottle of resveratrol laden red wine from your favorite fine wine shop or watering hole. That's right...drive right past the gym, order something delicious, and take advantage of all that red wine offers. In addition to creating a buns of steel infomercial body, wine is long known to prevent dementia and cancer, as well as having known anti-aging qualities and a wooing ability that would make Casanova jealous. Canadian scientist, Charles Dyck (pronunciation is on you) is gonna make a lot of people happy. Especially when coupled with the little blue pill approved on this day in 1998, Viagra! Wow, the benefits of wine discovered by Canadians, and the ability to take advantage by the performance minded Americans...where do the French fit in? Well perhaps they provided the inspiration since this week also celebrates the anniversary of the Eiffel Tower, 😆! Magic elixirs, cure-alls in a glass and pill... and healthier, stronger, smarter, more sophisticated, long lasting, upright citizens. Sounds like a universal good. Also, since research is still ongoing, you might want to hedge your bets and pour yourself an extra large glass...size matters! Take your vitamins, follow Aerosmith's lead and put on some music because she'll just love your big ten inch Record of her favorite blues. Oh Mon Dieu!