Hope springs eternal Antoinette,
Good morning America! The vernal equinox has passed, the snow has melted, and the type A's are tending to their tedious spring tasks of tidying up after twelve weeks of time off for winter. Timeout! There are more important things to worry about. No I'm not talking about your March Madness bracket, or the start of baseball season. Those important issues will be dealt with next week. I mean the Madness of our political theater! Too much acrimony on all sides and a complete lack of cooperation, respect, and amity for our fellow Americans and the Constitution. I can fix that. Is it too early to put my hat in the ring for public office? I have the answers. I have the platform. Trust me, 😉! Don't worry about me making wrong decisions. As I said before I drink wine, I know things. I have all the qualifications. I drink well with others, have ideas universally popular to all parties, and always share my wine. Consequently, I think I will run for the office of Benevolent Dictator. (I don't like dealing with bureaucracies). My first executive action will deal with something fresh on everyone's mind...daylight savings time. Henceforth, the clock will spring forward at 4:00pm Friday afternoon to coincide with the start of half off wine happy hour and get you out of work sooner. And in the autumn the clock will fall back at 6:00am Monday morning giving everyone an extra hour of sleep after all those mimosas on Sunday, Funday. Next, I will decree an executive order whereby all political meetings at every level of government must include copious amounts of wine...nothing soothes the rancor of dusty old politicians like a bottle of Rutherford Cabernet. Let's get Washington drinking and working again. And finally, I don't want to impugn anyone's religion, but maybe that Middle East thing could be solved by a few cases of the grape. Look how pacified the French are! Just saying...give Pinot a chance! Well I guess that just about covers everything, right? 😆🍷 This week in history ought remind us what good leadership and wine can do. E Pluribus Unnum. The party of the union saving Great Emancipator Lincoln was established in1854; FDR passed the beer and WINE Act in 1933 to help alleviate the "Grape Depression"; and in 1775 Patrick Henry, tired of the British repressive tax on alcohol, uttered those famous words, "give me liberty and my tax free wine, or give me death". Fight for your freedoms and vote for me. Be like Mike, drink wine and MARSSAPA*! If you don't like what I'm saying you can cash me outside. Time to get out on the road and campaign...I am Wonder Mike and I'd like to say hello, now everybody go Hotel, motel, Holiday Inn...my mellow it's on you America so what you gonna do?
*Make America Really Something Special and Productive Again.
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