Sexual Objectification

In case you forget, 77 glasses of wine minus your age plus 40 gives you the year of your birth Antoinette.

I don't know about you but I'm tired of one of the great injustices in the world... the fact that other countries, especially the French, get to sexually objectify while we Americans are banned from using words more familiar to us... this is confusing and limiting and is a form of word prejudice and cultural subjugation.  In fact I think it's a sinister Euro plot to retake America one word at a time. I think I'll pour myself a Beaujolais while I consider this. As everybody knows, today we mark the 89th anniversary of the establishment of the Grand Tetons⛰...which are actually made up of a grand Teton, a medium sized Teton and a petit Teton (known locally as the DD, C, and A😉) which the French call a ménage à trois... quaint!   Call it a threesome and you'll have the PC crowd all over you like white on rice (which is not to say another hue couldn't potentially be on rice if it wanted). Now to be sure, the Grand Tetons are a magnificent sight even if you prefer your Tetons to come in pairs😉. The Tetons are perfectly formed and firm with deep cleavages. Even Cal#30, a guy not known for speaking out🙊, couldn't help ogling👓 the Grand Tetons...but what kind of example does this set for Americans? Is it somehow more magnificent to give them French names? I mean what's wrong with the Big Melons, or the Large Knockers, the Sweater Girls, or even the Bare Bazoombas. Let me try some of that Bordeaux. Or how about this, what If you're engaging in some harmless fun like pinching a girl on her Jack's last name 🙈... you'll get a smack, but if you pat a mademoiselle on her derrière you'll probably get an ooh la la and a date for Le cinq à sept🍾🙈🌋.  In Italy it's a National sport and has even been upheld by the supreme court because it's not a butt it's "un bel culo."  I think I'll try that Barolo now. And don't think this is a one way street....you ladies have a stake in this fight. Speaking of wood, weren't we?, Washington's Monument...  which of course means great in importance, extent and size🙉, comes from the French word monumental. Now sometimes a monument is just a monument, but if Freud or Inga who both wrote in German had their way it would probably be called the Washington Schwanzstucker, Oof! Let's go with the Riesling now. Yeah ladies I know what your thinking...#metoo. Why isn't it something English and poetic like the Washington Longfellow, Johnson, or Richard(you don't want to use the diminutive here when you're talking about this subject, after all this is the grand GW not the petit Napoleon... take that France! OMD (oh mon Dieu). Anyway, I could go on and on, but the message is simple...we need to take back America and MAGA like our forefathers who weren't afraid of words and named places we can understand like Intercourse Pa, Beaver City Nebraska, Wankers Corner Oregon, Sweet Lips Tennessee, and Climax North Carolina... time to get back to American roots🇺🇸... pour me a Horton Norton while I think about where I've been and all that Cash...

"Listen! I've traveled every road in this here land!"

I've been everywhere, man
I've been everywhere, man
Crossed the deserts bare, man
I've breatherd the mountain air, man
Travel, I've had my share, man
I've been everywhere