Paradoxically Speaking

Water is still wet, and wine is better without the H Antoinette.

Get off my lawn! Bah humbug! Quiet down you bunch of hippies. Do you feel lucky punk?🔫 Well do you? Nothing but a basket of deplorables!  That's right...you guessed it...it's National Grouch Day. It's the day you're legally allowed to moan and groan, bitch and whine. The day you're allowed to get your Ol Codger, Oscar the Grouch, the Grinch, Scrooge, Clint Eastwood or HRC on(#ifyourewithher👈🙊). Feel free to gripe about whatever has your panties in a bunch, or whatever victimization you want to bloviate ad nauseum about... let loose! Get it out of your system. Cry foul! Or is that fowl🐓? Now that is something to whine about, and wine about🍷! Huh? I'm talking about language. Confusing language to be specific. Sound alike words, spelled alike words, but with different meanings. Phrases that make you pause if you didn't take them for granted. What if you only have one amend, how do you make it?🤔 What if you get rid of all the odds and ends except one, what are you left with? Why are a slim chance and a fat chance the same chance? If you are a man who's wise that's good, but if you're a guy who's wise that's bad. Remember when replacing a tranny was something you did in a garage and not swapping out RuPaul for Caitlyn J?🙈  Ever asked yourself how your house can burn up, and burn down at the same time?🔥 Ever wander/ wonder about space?  Or how is it that you fill in a form by filling it out? Alarms go off by going on?🕰📣 What would happen if a sewer fell in a sewer? Or the crew team had a row about how to row before the party on Greek Row?🚣‍♂️ Or why do they call it New Delhi if it's not new or a deli?🧀  Alright, I know...I just want to intimate to my intimates that the subject I'm subjecting you to does not require you to call me King👑 as one of my subjects, subjectively speaking. In fact the subject in this case is an object as well, and the object of my affection so I hope no one objects even though I do objectify it in a poetic sense, so hopefully no one feels objectified in a negative sense in which case I object. (In matters such as these I prefer to go the route of the indirect object). Now all this may be obvious if you're a captain, but some of us may need it made clear before all the griping and grouching and whining tears us apart, and brings tears to our eyes. Time to stop being a jerk, cuz nobody needs a tearjerker this close to the holidays.  Save your knee-jerk reactions and save the jerk for Jamaican chicken, then tear off the foil from your wine 🍾 using your sharpened foil 🤺if need be and do it neatly as a mess would be a foil to the good time to be had in the mess for the soldiers who wanted their jerk thyme chicken🍗 with the perfect foil...a buttery chardonnay.🥂 🙉If my recovered memory serves me right, and write this down if you wish, but it's all of our right to be happy in life and liberty right now whether you're in the right or left holding an empty bag...don't despair...if you go far enough around the spectrum you'll be right again... it just takes a scrub... like erasing a computer disc💾, except in this case we just need to remove the H(no worries there's no R or C)...and all we are left with is the object of my affections, and subject of this blog, and cure-all for the grouches...WINE! So uncork and unwind after your one day to unload...then let's get close before It's Too Late and a grouch close to the door decides to close it...that's just me Caroling for a King, ok queen...

Stayed in bed all mornin' just to pass the time
There's somethin' wrong here, there can be no denyin'
One of us is changin', or maybe we've just stopped tryin'

And it's too late, baby now, it's too late
Though we really did try to make it
Somethin' inside has died, and I can't hide
And I just can't fake it, oh, no, no