Wine adds sophistication to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl, Antoinette.
The time to remember hindsight is 20/20 is before you drink that bottle of tequila or case of beer. Because the "sight of that hind" the morning after will leave you with a memory you can't filter🙈. Beer Goggles are just that... filters for the socially awkward, less beautiful and desperate souls out there where objects in front of, and behind the lens appear Photoshopped. This will of course lead to morning wake-ups where you could serve as the muse for Edvard Munch, The Scream, 😱... or worse, leave you with a certain burning feeling!😰 Don't make "OMD(oh mon dieu), what have I done" the first words out of your mouth after a night on the town. You can of course avoid this by Beer Googling.(This is when you protect yourself from bad choices by staying home surfing the internet instead of the bars, but word of warning, this can lead to other types of viruses🖱⌨😩) Instead, take advantage of the millions of dollars in well spent tax funded scientific studies, investigative journalism and Ivy League research grants designed to get to the bottom of the beer goggle conundrum. Research scientists(at least that's what Frank and John said they were) proved through highly controlled experimentation in a laboratory environment in Pittsburgh, Pa... that people in local bars looked better after drinking copious amounts of beer and alcohol🍻🍸... go figure... I've been to Pittsburgh, and believe me it's gonna take a lot of Iron City Beer🍺 to make those people attractive...bunch of Penguin looking so and so's. (Take that Crosby, 🐧🏒) Expanding on that study, "experts" from Bristol University in England and noted research publication, the Daily Mail📰 used that time honored scientific method, "would you sleep with that person before drinking? after 1 beer? a 6 pack? a case and so on? Maybe that's what they're talking about on the commercials for new beds🛏...what's your sleep number?🙉 Hmm, maybe I should get a grant and research that.🤔 Harvard psychology researchers argue that understanding and mitigating this effect may be crucial in combating behaviour such as risky sexual activity🙊. Good point, so I have 2 pieces of advice... if you live in Pittsburgh or Bristol... move. 2nd, instead of spending so much money trying to make others more attractive, lower your sleep number to zero by making yourself attractive to everyone...drink wine. Time to trade in the beer goggles, for the wine Lasiks... see things more clearly and make good choices... don't drink beer or liquor to remove inhibitions, alter your standards, or erase your memory. Instead drink wine to make yourself more attractive, elevate your sex appeal, and improve your health and prowess. With beer and liquor you may be thinking you're Brangelina, or Tom and Giselle, but you'll wake up as Roseanne and John Goodman, Ugg!😭 Drink wine and the Brady's and Bundchen's of the world will be seeking you out faster than an Eagle can fly! (Sorry Tom) Elevate your game by drinking wine🥂. Be suave and debonair! With a glass of wine in hand 🍷you'll always have that certain je nais se quoi that will make you the desirable one in any crowd of carbon based life forms...(sorry Penguin fans). Wine drinkers pair well with all good things...blondes, brunettes and redheads. Not to mention, your mom will be much happier with a delicious Rośe on Mother's Day instead of a case of Yuengling. Speaking of which, your Yuengling deserves better than what a six packer will get you! Avoid the fate of Elvis and his "Burning Love"...drink wine, be cool!
Lord have mercy,
I'm burning a hole where I lay
'Cause your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
You light my morning sky
With burning love
With burning love
Ah, ah, burning love
I'm just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
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